Groom
I was born in the slums of Paris. After 5 treacherous years of learning how to successfully surrender in any combat scenario, I was forcibly (albeit I surrendered this choice of course) moved to the suburbs of a small city called Stamford. There I grew into the champion I am today. In an attempt to escape the difficulties of having everything I wanted in a white-suburb community, I fled to Florida a place where I would have everything I ever dreamed of.
Bride
I am the descendant of Persian Royalty; in fact when I was born, I literally had a silver spoon in my mouth. Standing no more than 4 foot 9, I was viewed as a giant in my class. I was a champion in every regard, there was no foe worthy to challenge me in Machanyim. I proudly sent several children to the nurses office daily. Many years later, I trained myself in the outbacks of Australia to become an even fiercer warrior. I accomplished many great things, a true world adventurer. My new goal in life is to solicit Menahem for children so I can create an army of miniature soldiers so I can obtain a guaranteed 4 likes on every instagram post.
Best Man
As my token black friend, I officially can say as a proud non-democrat, I am not racist. Stephen and I are practically brothers. We knew it was love at first sight that very first day in our Environmental Science class in UT. Our teacher was an actual clone of Antonio Banderas portraying a real life secret spy on an espionage mission we cannot share the details about. Stephen, also commonly confused with the famed celebrity who played Carlton Banks in Fresh Prince of Bel Air, is an avid tradesman. He is most famously known for his ability to find rare animals and sell them on the blackmarket to the highest bidder. Don't be fooled by his devilishly charming wit!
Maid of Honor
Honorary sister who was mainly chosen so she can continuously answer all of our health related questions. How else would we know what really happened to the Glee cast? From sharing rooms from the wee age of diapers, to the barbie phase and beyond, there is no one I'd rather have at my side. <3 P.S. If you require vegan or healthier alternative meal options please feel free to contact this person.
Menahem's Maid of Honor
We met on the beaches of Club Med and although she was the weirdest person ever, I decided to ask her for her number and to become my bestest friend ever. The following two years, we spoke every day about everything; including that one time Yishai did that thing where I was on his shoulders and he dropped me and then karate-kicked into chest. When Bea when to University, I decided to visit for a full-month whilst in school. It was the greatest decision of my life. This university spent $4M on its pool because they sent a survey and students preferred investing in that versus a new library.
Best Woman
As a child I always had a strange fascination with miniature Kangaroos, so I flew all the way to Australia. Contrary to popular belief, Kangaroos do not roam the streets of Melbourne like they do in Pokemon video games. Instead of finally accomplishing my lifelong dream of becoming a professional Kangaroo rider, I met some random stranger and within a week realized I met my soul mate; and of course like all lovers, we decided to move in together. We had our typical quarrels; I never did the cooking, she always took out the rubbish, I would climb tall things, she would inevitably catch me as I fall. As summer ended, so did our love. And since that day I've been trying to recruit her back to live with me in America to no avail. Wish me luck on trying to kidnap her in Mexico!
Groomsman
Sol and Menahem met in a Tampa trap house called Bais David. Along with all the drinks, parties in diapers, and Tampa shenanigans, the two continued to learn together, grow in Yiddishkite, and even one day plan to move together to Israel. Gila is now also invited to join :)
Groomsman
When I graduated Yeshivah and went to my first year of college, I thought I was the big man on campus and could do anything. Within a few months I was hooked. We would be up 5x a week until the wee hours of the day celebrating our youth. Some days were better than others but in reality it was all a big blur. Gui, was my partner in crime. We were the best of friends, he called me Michael and I called him Guiness -after the most disgusting beer I've ever tasted. But there is no one I'd rather call a best friend than the man who helped me overcome my addiction to League of Legends.