Are you even Jewish?
If its a good Shidduch does that mean we get gelt?
Yes, of course. Would you like a side of oysters with your entree?
How did you get invited?
According to Chabad.org it's a machloket whether the wedding actually starts at the time stated on the invitation or if we take traditional jewish customs and delay everything by at least 2 hours. We hold by the third opinion and just show up when the food arrives.
As an elegant establishment, we anticipate only the finest Egyptian cotton attire. Our color scheme is as complex as the American Political System; (for the men reading, I swear these are different colors) Cinnamon Rose, Dusty Rose for the women. For the men attending, we expect nothing from you in terms of fashion. However, if you'd like to impress us like a dapper gentleman please wear some brown suspenders.