So there's this club in most major cities in the world called Hash House Harriers. The Hash meets weekly for an evening of running, pizza, drinks, songs, and hitting on each other--not necessarily in that order. In July 2015, Ilana was brought to the NYC Hash by a well-meaning friend, who massively over-emphasized the running component. There, she met Tim, who tried to get her to shift her emphasis to the eating, drinking, and socializing components. After two weeks of dodged calls, Ilana and Tim finally went to see an unimpressive movie, and somehow kept hanging out for the next 6 months despite swearing that they weren't "together." (Tim would say that this is because Ilana makes excellent sandwiches.) Around November of that year, Ilana and Tim realized they might have accidentally started dating. Ilana never went back to the Hash; Tim hasn't run a race ever since.