Haley & Mark
Wedding Party
Haley McGregor
Bride
If you have never met Haley, you've missed out, and she will be the one in the white gown, if there happens to be two women in white gowns, the one in the uglier one is not the bride so you should definitely dump red wine down the front of her ugly white dress.
Mark Baker
Groom
If you've never met Mark, you have missed out, but he'll likely be arguing with his best man, Ben, over who lost their shared braincell. Neither will admit it was them because Haley told them not to lose it and she'll be mad that it's been missing for over a year and neither told her.
Nikki McGregor
Mother of the Bride
Nikki is obviously Haley's mom, she will try and be friends with as many of Mark's family members as possible, don't fight it she's kind of the best.
Susan Baker
Mother of the Groom
Obviously Susan is Mark's mom, she will keep the drinking to a minimum so long as she can convince her best friend that she has to drive home after, if she's found out all bets are off.
Jay McGregor
Father of the Bride
Jay is Haley's dad, duh, if you love the beer selection that will be at the bar you can thank him, if you hate any of them, blame Mark he probably picked it.
Geoff Baker
Father of the Groom
Geoff is Mark's dad, obviously, we are convinced he has more money than he lets on because he was very clearly the voice actor for Bob from Bob's Burgers.
Wyatt Edson
Ring Bearer
Wyatt is Haley's nephew, he thinks she's cool sometimes but prefers his toy cars or his grandparents.
Oakley Edson
Flower Girl
Oakley is Haley's niece, she has received this position before she's even born so Haley's coolness to her will be determined in March.
Kenzie McGregor
Matron of Honor
Kenzie is Haley's older sister, Oakley and Wyatt are her beautiful children, please don't ask why they don't have the same last name... her husband is bitter about it.
Ben Jones
Best Man
Ben has been Mark's best friend since high school, Mark and him have been sharing a brain cell for the past 8 years and Haley's pretty sure one of them lost it.
Gwen Lapine
Bridesmaid
Gwen is Haley's cousin, she will be the life of the party, and is also trying to pregame every event leading up to this wedding, and I mean who would say no to that.
Elisia Fritz
Groomswoman
Elisia is one of Mark's bonus sisters, she always used to beat Mark up when they were kids so maybe Mark getting taller and stronger than her was karma.
Olivia Lowry
Bridesmaid
Olivia has been one of Haley's best friends since elementary school, she lived with Haley all through college, survived her snoring, and thrived when she cooked dinner for the apartment.
Gabrielle Fritz
Groomswoman
Gabrielle is Mark's other bonus sister, she's kind of like a cat, wants nothing to do with you if you act like you want her to like you, she has to want to like you.
Marianna Rimanelli
Bridesmaid
Marianna has been one of Haley's closest friends since high school, has brought the party to every college event and plans to show everyone what an Italian wedding is (leaving halfway through to smoke a cigar outside).
Alex Hamann
Groomsman
Alex has been one of Mark's closest friends since high school, they share an ex who is now bisexual so don't really know what that says about them.
Emily Nowosatko
Bridesmaid
Emily has been one of Haley's closest friends since elementary school, she agreed to be a bridesmaid on the contingency that she could walk down the aisle with one of the groomswomen.
Keegan Nitz
Groomsman
Keegan has been one of Mark's closest friends since high school, he has a weird obsession with trains, no idea why, but trains are cool I guess?
Grace Mosher
Bridesmaid
Grace has been one of Haley's best friends since middle school, 66% of Haley's tattoos have been directly influenced by her and they intend to raise that percentage as soon as Haley gets the funds to do so.
Dom Garofalo
Groomsman
Dom has been one of Mark's closest friends since middle school, he loves to play DnD so if he gets stuck in the upside down after a bike chase in Indiana, you may not see him at the wedding.
Judy Dettre
Officiant
Judy is Haley's grandma, she has agreed to be the officiant for the wedding but is trying to convince her son in-law, Jay, that she doesn't need the full papal robes to do so.