Danielle & Michael
Jewish Wedding Customs
Ketubah
The Marriage Contract
Pronounced "kuh-TOO-buh." Ketubah is a Hebrew word that translates to "written document." Traditionally, the ketubah would be an economic and legal agreement between families. In contemporary times, it has become an expression of the couple's personal pledges to each other and a values statement. It is often a beautiful piece of art that the couple hangs in their home. The ketubah is signed by the bride and groom, two witnesses, and the officiant. Signing as a witness is one of the most meaningful honors for loved ones in a Jewish wedding. Ketubah signing ceremonies are typically more private. Our ketubah signing will be held before the main ceremony and include immediate family and a few of our closest friends. We will display the signed ketubah at our main ceremony for all of our guests to see.
Chuppah
The Wedding Canopy
Pronounced "huh-puh." Chuppah is a Hebrew word that translates to "covering." Four poles and a cloth covering form a roof with no walls, and it is flexible, open, and adaptable. The chuppah creates the holy space in which a couple affirms the sanctity of their relationship, and it holds focus on the couple and their future lives together. The chuppah is symbolic of the new home the couple is establishing together, inhabited by the couple, surrounded by family and friends, and protected by God's sheltering presence. At our wedding, both sets of parents will stand under the chuppah with us and the Rabbi, as one of the ways we will honor our parents.
Hakafot
Circling
Pronounced "hah-kah-FOT." Hakafah, or plural hakafot, is Hebrew for "circle" or "circling." Traditionally, prior to the wedding, the bride would go to the mikvah (ritual bath), then physically circle the house that she and her husband would inhabit. This evolved to the bride circling the groom at the chuppah, the symbolic home, when the wedding ceremony begins, most commonly either three or seven times. The meaning has many interpretations, including that it represents the woman courting the man or that the woman is creating a protective wall around her husband to keep him from external temptations. Some say three circles represent the three obligations a husband must fulfill for his wife: sustenance, clothing, and sexual relations. Some say seven circles are symbolic of Creation, completion, and wholeness. We will be taking an egalitarian approach as our ceremony begins under the chuppah, in which the bride circles around the groom three times, the groom circles around the bride three times, and then they walk together to create the final circle.
Kiddushin
Rings and Vows
Pronounced "kuh-DOO-shun." Kiddushin is a Hebrew word that literally means "sanctification" or to take someone or something that others might see as ordinary and separate it out, distinguish it, and elevate it for a holy purpose. It is often used to describe the main part of the wedding ceremony, which includes exchanging of tokens (often rings) and vows. The bride and groom share formal declarations of their commitments to each other, and they may share personal thoughts, promises, and hopes for their relationship. Michael and I will collaborate closely with the Rabbi to develop this special part of the ceremony.
Sheva B'rachot
Seven Blessings
Pronounced "SHEH-vuh bra-KHOTE." Sheva is Hebrew for "seven," and b'rachot is Hebrew for "blessings." Reciting the seven blessings is the oldest Jewish ritual for marriage. They are metaphors, and over time, some language has been altered. Traditionally, the blessings are about 1) joy, in the symbol of wine, 2) creation, 3) procreation, 4) humanity striving toward the divine, 5) meaningful relationships, 6) the joy of the loving commitment between two people, and 7) the joy that those two people find in each other. As a way to honor some of our loved ones, we will invite some special participants to share a blessing in this portion of the ceremony.
Breaking the Glass
Ceremony Custom
A contemporary custom is for the groom to break a glass under his foot. There are many interpretations of this. A common traditional interpretation is that it is done to remember and mourn the Second Temple in Jerusalem, which was destroyed by the Romans in 70 CE and began the diaspora of the Jewish people. Another interpretation is that it is done to symbolize fragility and show that even during the most joyful times, there is still sorrow and hardships. After the glass breaks, everyone shouts, "mazel tov!" (pronounced "mah-zuhl tahv") to make the mood joyful again. Mazel tov literally translates to "good luck" in Hebrew and is used to share congratulations. All are welcome to yell "mazel tov" or "l'chaim" whenever they like at our wedding! L'chaim (pronounced luh-KHAI-yeem) means "to life" and is the Hebrew version of "cheers" when making a toast. Michael is hyped to stomp on the glass and truly cannot wait for this moment. He's already been practicing.
Yichud
Wedding Tradition
Pronounced "yih-HOUD." Yichud is Hebrew for "privacy." It's a Jewish tradition for the couple to spend a few minutes alone together directly after the ceremony as they start their married life. In more religious circles, this is the first time that a couple may touch each other. In a modern context, this time gives the couple a chance to celebrate privately, reflect and take it all in, escape the busy day, and have an intimate moment together. We will take about 15-20 minutes for yichud after our ceremony, and then rejoin the celebration with all of our family and friends!
Hora
Celebration Custom
Pronounced "haw-ruh." The hora is a traditional folk dance, often performed at Jewish weddings, bar mitzvahs, and bat mitzvahs. Guests form circles around the bride and groom, holding hands or linking arms, and step together to rotate. The wedding couple, and oftentimes, the parents of the couple are lifted up in chairs. The circle represents the cyclical nature of life and the continuity of the Jewish people, and the lifting of the couple symbolizes their connection to God and the spiritual world. The hora is usually danced to the song "Hava Nagila." We know our Jewish guests will help make sure the hora happens with big, lively energy, and it wouldn't be a party if our non-Jewish guests didn't join in on the fun and experience the incredible, beautiful, organized chaos that is this dance. ~~~~~~~ Thank you so much for learning with us! We will also have pamphlets at our wedding, so you can follow along during the ceremony, and our officiant, Rabbi Rebecca Benoff, will explain everything as we go along. We can't wait to celebrate with you!