Kids. Have I told you the story of how I met your mother? No?...Well, let me paint you a picture. I was a freshman at Duke and it was a dark September afternoon. Now when I say dark, I mean DARK DARK. I'm talking ocho loko and a 40 type of dark. One second I was killing it in kings and before I knew it I found myself trying to slip a cop a Dunkin' Donuts gift card to let me walk. Well, suffice it to say that didn't happen, and I couldn't be happier. Swifter than a kick in the ass i found myself handcuffed, sitting on the curb and telling myself that I need to rethink how I make life decisions. Seconds later, I looked to my left and there she was, my sparkling diamond, my bright light: An unopened Bud Light. Naturally, I scooted over, got it between my legs, popped the top and did my best to find happiness in the bottom of that can. Unfortunately, I spilled all over myself causing the woman next to me, who was also in cuffs sitting on the curb, to burst out laughing. She was a petit little thing, her eyes were expressive and inquisitive. As I looked back at the giggling girl, it was in that second, that my beer ridden self knew exactly what I wanted to do, and exactly how to do it. Timid as a baby bird still too afraid to fly, I cautiously opened my mouth and said "You know golds at a ten year high?"