Matron of Honor
Older sister of Bride. Only wedding party member to appear on Barstool Sports. Elite bowler. Struggles to teach her students how to slip and slide. Member of the Malloy Hole in One Club. Mother to Ginny. Coined the phrase "Uncle Geoff". Not a big girl.
Best Man
Younger Brother of the Groom. Concession Stand Michelin Ratings Adjuster. Tight Ends Coach at the 2nd best Trinity football team in the NCAA. Sneaky dominant dancer.
Maid of Honor
Best friend to both the Bride and Groom. Great with directions in Europe, not in the USA. Infectious Smile. Louder than she thinks. Big fan of the draw control. Kapernick > Flacco. Bowdoin great and Trinity Head Women's Lacrosse Coach.
Groomsman
Great Trinity friend to both Shannon and Geoff. Kickoff Cover specialist. Long Island Ice Tea aficionado. Penalty Box Monitor. Hawaii Bowl Champion 2008. Lined up near the guy who blocked the punt for ECU vs Virginia Tech in Blacksburg in '08. Master's Degree Pending....
Bridesmaid
Close friend to both Shannon and Geoff. Drakes Island till she dies. Bowdoin grad and the best artist in the building. Elite social media calligraphy. Family puts up with Geoff visiting. White Instagram Box Fan.
Groomsman
Best friend of the groom growing up in Plano. Better half of the most electric sand volleyball 2man team in the southern USA in 2004. Will never use an iron off the tee, chicks dig the long ball. Maybe the most clever person on the planet. And he'll let you know it.
Bridesmaid
Best friend of the Bride. Never passes on corners. Never should pass on corners. Mother to Stella. Best steak the groom has ever had. National Champion. Father's given name is Tom Riddle.
Groomsman
Best college bud. Elite beerpong last cup assassin. Currently controls the corporate. Voted to the 1st Team All-2000's Virginia HS Football All-Decade Team. Father to TDJ III and Kathryn Saban Hearington. Does it for the kids.
Bridesmaid
Where to Start. Best friend of bride. WMD. Ex-Pat. Nantucket afficionado. Only goes to the Box. The NESCAC Charles Barkley. Reluctant Ginger. World traveler. Does problem sets weeks in advance. Elite Smile and Elite White Pants.
Groomsman
Best friend of the groom growing up in Plano. Dentist with Dentist wife Amy. Elite club head speed on the tee box. Elite defender. Daughters Kels and Emily are top ten instagram follows. Still claims it was Jesse Chavez who brought the booze.
Bridesmaid
Sister of Colleen. Hartford Has It. Colleague and most important gossiper. Loves Providence College Basketball and Brads. Once lived in The Colony. I know, The Colony. Mother to Lola. Also a WMD.
Groomsman
Best college bud and former roommate. World traveler. Lawyer. Did not want us to turn his room into a beerpong table. Still thinks the 2005 Longhorns didn't have the #1 Defense in the country. Top tier dancer/mid tier rapper. Do not try and sell him them new B's hats.
Bridesmaid
Former Teammate of the Bride. National Champion. Mother to the new babe Piper. Crabcakes and Football. Now a Bronxviller. Once had her car stolen at a wedding by another wedding guest. Both will be at our wedding. Wife of Donnie, who 1up'ed everyone on his engagement.
Groomsman
Brother in Law of the groom. Red Devil ride or die. Caribou Viking. The skinnier better looking version of the groom. Father to Henry. College footballer. Mainer 4 lyfe. Should start a DIY tv show. Puts up with matron of honor. Former teammate of the groom indoor soccer squad.
Flower Girl
Daughter of Fern Street. Cutest little smile. Agile Mobile Hostile. Flower Girl for the couple. A young Annika Sorenstam. Huge fan of Oscar the Grouch.
Ring Bearer
The 1st Born Son of a family of women. Rocks shades like Kim Jong Il. Is not afraid of the dinner table. Already loves bars and sports, has the Malloy blood. Huge point operation currently. Loves to say no. Currently struggling but improving on fingerpainting. Has a million dollar smile. Has inspired the nightly blowdry.