We're getting married!

Our paths first crossed in college at ORU because we lived on corresponding freshman floors. A group of us visited The Gathering Place, a large community park in Tulsa. Carpooling was the main way I (Ericka) got around freshman year; this is important for later… At The Gathering Place, we wandered past the lodge and explored the gardens, jungle gyms, and giant swings. Then my roommate at the time, Triztan, and I stumbled upon the boathouse before the rest of the group made their way over. The two of us discovered free paddleboat rides and had to take advantage of the opportunity. As we were peacefully floating on the pond, the rest of the group had turned around before reaching the boathouse and decided that it was time to head back to campus. The car that Triztan and I had arrived in was long gone by the time we frantically paddled back to shore. Ben was riding in the car that turned around to retrieve us. Triztan climbed in the trunk while I squeezed between two guys I just met, one of them being Benjamin. While this wasn’t a rom-com love at first sight, it was the first of many fun and chaotic memories with my growing circle of friends that I’ll cherish from my time in college.

Ericka and I (Ben) were friends before we started dating. After we first met, we were in the same friend group and started to be friends over time. Before the big “C,” COVID-19, happened, we were in the same statistics class but at different times. Our first conversations would usually be about statistics homework because I was outside 2 standard deviations on the left tail of a bell curve in terms of desire to learn about statistics. When the big “C” happened, to combat loneliness and depression, Ericka had a wonderful idea to setup recurring Zoom calls with our friend group. Even though we were several man-made lakes apart, the Zoom calls help with our sanity while further building closer relationships with friends and with each other. In Fall of 2020, ORU allowed classes to be in-person. Ericka got a job as a student worker for the Honors program which we were both in. Because of her new job, she was given an office where friends, including me, could stop by. At first, I was coming to do homework since it was in a quiet private area with not much foot traffic. However, over time, for some odd, mysterious, bizarre reason, the amount of homework I would complete would decrease, but the amount of time I spent in her office increased. Just as the law of gravity was once discovered by an apple, shall I too discover the apple of my eye. Okay now for Ericka's side of the story: During that fall, all of the quality time that Ben and I spent together sparked a deep friendship that I began to really cherish. This also gave me the chance to notice Ben's devotion to Jesus, the happy relationships he enjoyed with his friends and siblings, and his drive to learn/succeed. This developed into a crush, which I then denied as long as I could, of course. Because if I admitted that I had a crush, then I had to endure--The Talking Stage--a game of indirect communication that I despised and wanted to avoid at all costs. Eventually, though I admitted to myself that that I had a crush. At this point, I felt like there wasn't a day that went by without a bit of banter and flirting between us. For me, this was fun for a bit, but it became difficult when this phase (of not communicating fully & directly about our goals) felt like it was continuing forever without an end in sight. Thus, I took it upon myself to resolve this issue. One evening, I asked Ben why, after he has called me beautiful and been flirting with me for months, he had not asked me on a date yet. We candidly discussed his hesitations about dating in Tulsa. Since his home and future plans were Dallas, he did not know if our futures would align. I reassured him that my plans for my future and my home in DFW were actually compatible with his, and moments later he asked me to be his date to an upcoming ORU event (that may have included dancing). Back to Ben's POV: After many dates, we learned more of each other and fell further in love. We had truthful discussions about our wants, needs, emotions, and expectation for the future. Over time and many discussions later, I knew Ericka would be my partner in life and that we would follow God’s heart as one.

Intro: On the morning of November 16, my family and Ericka were leaving my uncle’s house in New Jersey to visit Central Park, NYC. Unbeknownst to Ericka, I had planned to propose to her on Bow Bridge. The night before, while we were enjoying the view from Rockefeller Center, Ericka pulled me aside to ask if I was still planning to propose before the end of the year. Knowing full well my plan for the next day, I gave a hesitant "uhhhh - yeahhh," hoping not to spoil the surprise. Despite the planning, not everything went smoothly. The Plan: After studying proposals from various movies since 2001, I decided that Central Park’s Bow Bridge would be the perfect spot. The picturesque setting with cool buildings, greenery, and a unique bridge design seemed ideal based on Google Maps photos. Ericka didn’t have any family with her, so I contacted her Uncle Andrew and Aunt Jenny from Brooklyn, who were excited to join and agreed to meet us at Bow Bridge. The plan was simple: drive to a nearby parking garage, walk to Bow Bridge, propose, and have her aunt and uncle surprise her there. I was confident in my plan, but I hadn’t accounted for New York City’s unpredictability. The Proposal: "Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt." – Sun Tzu, The Art of War The issue with moving like a thunderbolt in NYC is the traffic and crowds. Despite leaving New Jersey early, we ran into parking issues. The planned garage was full, and street parking was unavailable for miles. After circling the block multiple times, we finally found a distant garage. I started worrying about being late since her aunt and uncle were already waiting at Bow Bridge. I shared my location with her uncle and informed him of our delay. After a quick subway ride, we reached Central Park. I was eager to get to Bow Bridge, but Ericka wanted to take her time and enjoy the journey. Rushing through the park would have been suspicious, so I had to slow down, even though I was anxious inside. As we approached the bridge, Ericka wanted to relax by the lake, just as the bridge came into view. After a bit of convincing, we continued to the bridge, which was unexpectedly crowded. A street performer was playing Edelweiss on an electric violin—a moment that felt almost planned. When we reached the bridge, I tried distracting Ericka while my sister set up the camera. I was nervous, even though I knew she would say yes. I pointed out someone who resembled Bob Ross to divert her attention, then got down on one knee. When she turned back, I told her how much I loved her, how we had grown together, challenged each other, and grown in our faith. Then I asked her to marry me, and she said yes! Afterward, we took photos, and her aunt and uncle came over to surprise her. It turned out they had been sitting by the lake where we paused earlier, and we had walked right past them. A huge thanks to them for taking time out of their day to be part of our special moment.