Wedding Party
Kelsey
Maid of Honor
Middle school dance class partner who became my best friend playing high school volleyball. Used to get really annoyed when I would ask her to burn me CDs, but she had LimeWire and I didn't. First person to have Snake on her Nokia phone so she would sometimes let me play. We were big believers in the Hyphy movement -- and still are. She has a flawless thizz dance. From Junior Olympics to seeing Backstreet Boys in Vegas, she's been by my side the whole way... and she always knows it's smarter to order the bottle than the glass.
Mariah
Maid of Honor
Known at open gyms as the "Girl with the Yellow Shirt" before she committed to HNU. She didn't like me at first, but it didn't take long to change that... and soon we were so inseparable people used to think we were related. We bonded over High School Musical, country concerts and trips for sweet treats. We've traveled the world, lived together and mastered Hannah Montana's "Hoedown Throwdown." We may not be related by blood, but she's my thoughtful, creative, caring "seester" forever.
Adam
Best Man
Older brother and backyard wrestling extraordinaire. He once gave me a black eye that covered half my face. Has made me laugh more than anyone on the planet. He hates the way I eat. As babies he would sneak out of his crib and sleep next to mine to keep me safe. That is adorable and would have gone viral if 1) our parents had a nanny cam; and 2) it weren't 1987. I am taller than him, which he will deny if you ask. Kind, caring person who will not let you crack his toes. Oh and ask me about the t-ball story.
Sam
Best Man
Younger brother (can't really say "little"). We used to share a room and would watch pro wrestling even though we weren't allowed to. Growing up, I worried we had nothing in common. A few books about a boy wizard changed that pretty quickly. He's proof that Slytherins can be heroes too. I hope to be as good a husband as he is. But I really hope he's a better Best Man because I forgot the rings at his wedding (yeah, really). Also, thickest head of hair on the planet. Ask me about the ice cream story or the corn story.
Bryan
Groomsman
He did not like me the first year he knew me. He likes to make that clear. But I wore him down like I wore Erica down. We used to pass notes in class written in Tengwar, a fictional language from Lord of the Rings. Fiercely loyal friend and goofiest guy ever. Made summer school fun. He tried to be cool in front of popular basketball players our senior year and it did not work out. It is now my favorite story ever; please ask me to tell it.
Johnny
Groomsman
The hot one of the group. So effortlessly handsome. We got WAY too into the Blue Collar Comedy Tour when it came out. Late nights turned into early mornings sitting at the table in his backyard. Usually has the best joke of the night even if he talks the least. His family trusted me to try and fix their computer once; it did not go well. Super handy, super genuine friend. Does ONE impression flawlessly. And again, super handsome.
Troy
Groomsman
One of the first guys I met at Holy Names. Lightyears cooler than me but doesn't show it off. We used to order Domino's on Wednesdays and watch South Park in his dorm. Since college, we've won rec league championships and now have a podcast together. He's incredibly supportive -- I literally would not have a career in comedy without him. Also I may have accidentally killed his daughter's goldfish once. But he doesn't hold it against me.
Kargas
Groomsman
His first name is Jon but I've never called him that. When I got to college I looked at him and thought he was the coolest guy at school. We used to have deep post-party conversations on the roof of the dorms. He knows my one basketball move and calls it out before I do it like Lebron reading an offense. We haven't seen each other since his wedding almost 7 years ago. But I bet he can still do the beer trick. Can't wait to find out.
Robby
Groomsman
Former college roommate/volleyball teammate and current business partner. Another guy who didn't like me at first. We got lost in Las Vegas together and barely made it out. He beat me in basketball once and will be happy to tell you about it if you ask. He believes in me when I don't. If you hear two guys belting out the Jersey Boys soundtrack sometime over the wedding weekend, it's us. "If you will it, Dude, it is no dream." - Theodore Herzl
Packie
Groomsman
Another former college roommate. We used to fall asleep to Harry Potter audiobooks in our dorm. A few years ago we met up and decided we weren't following our true passions. So we jumped into a business together that led us both to our dream jobs: Now, he gets to travel the world and work closely with the best basketball players on the planet. I get to tell jokes in front of 8 people in a bar. I just hope he isn't too jealous.
Zac
Groomsman
The fightin' pride of Murrieta and ANOTHER college roommate & teammate. We met the weekend of his 18th birthday and I've been corrupting him ever since. He's the only person I've ever enjoyed betting on sports with. When everyone else has gone to bed, we put on Dark Knight Rises and keep the party going. Fellow craft beer snob and incredibly supportive friend. Makes me laugh with very little effort. Once confused a dog for a cat.
Colin
Groomsman
College buddy and professional shenanigans creator. We met at an HNU girls soccer game where we were both mercilessly heckling the other team and gradually moved closer to each other in the bleachers cuz we're hilarious. He makes me look really cool when he helps me do my Harry Potter party trick. From World Series celebrations to adventures in San Diego, Texas and Ireland, he's had my back 100% every second. " Dresses better than I ever could.
Randy
Groomsman
Bonded forever through a WWE t-shirt. The only person on earth who I'm OK with calling me "Paul Wall." One of the most genuine, kind-hearted people you will ever meet... who has ruined Fireball forever for me. No matter how long it's been since we've seen each other, it feels like he never left his "Cali fam." May have literally saved my life in a lake one time. Will probably make friends with the entire staff at the wedding venue.
Nathan
Officiant
Spicer's Paper co-founder. When we became best friends in high school, I made him burn all of his bridges with the popular kids so he could hang out with me. Unlike others in this wedding party, he'll profess he STILL doesn't like me. For Office fans, I am the Toby to his Michael. Musical genius, perpetual instigator, unshakable friend. Best person for this job. He once lost a kid's game show (not really). Ask me about the Jack Daniels camping story.