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Emmalee & Phil

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Phil Futuyma

and

Emmalee Lawlor

February 17, 2024

Louisville, CO

The Story

It was a courtship several years too generous. Though punctuated by a series of adventures near and far, and the adoption of one rebellious cattle dog named Belinda, a crucial life event was becoming increasingly difficult to overlook and delay. Sensing Emmalee’s growing frustration with Phil’s inaction on the topic of marriage, the boy began hatching a scheme. To pull it off, he’d need: 1.) A ring. Rose gold. Sparkly. Handcrafted. Original and charming. Reasonably priced. 2.) A setting. Romantic. Remote. Thematic to the relationship. Also reasonably priced. 3.) An assortment of fine cheeses and crackers. Absurdly expensive. 4.) Belinda’s proclivity for performing choreographed maneuvers (abandoned due to Belinda’s limited tolerance for choreographed maneuvers) After months of semi-meticulous planning and secrecy, the plan was set. On a Saturday afternoon in the crystal waters of a remote mountain lake, Phil knelt down and directed Emmalee’s attention to the shimmering object he cleverly pretended to find from under the surface of the water. The deception proved too effective, and was not immediately recognized by Emmalee as a proposal, but dismissed as the rather unimpressive discovery of discarded fishing debris. After a few brief moments of confusion and closer inspection of the water garbage, the proposal was accepted. The boy, the girl, and the dog rejoiced and ate their fine assortment of cheeses and crackers while looking onward to their journeys together. You, our respected guests, are cordially invited to attend the event celebrating this highly abridged story and its subsequent adventures.

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