Emily & Andres







November 11, 2023

Mission Viejo, CA
233 days233 d8 hours8 h1 minute1 min1 second1 s

....La Woodenzuela, Act One.... Vegan Boy and the Bach Motet

circa 2017

SCENE: Presbyterian Church of the Master, a lively church in Orange County, CA Donna Emilia is in the choir loft discussing various matters with Don Andres, whom Don Donavon recently introduced to PCOM. They have just recently met, and they are becoming good friends. They both love Bach and they have a lot in common. One day, Emilia learns that Andres is a (PROUD) vegan and promptly proceeds to dub him "Vegan Boy" (VB for short) and tease him relentlessly. He fires back and, on one occasion, condemns her for "her bacon" in his aria, "You and Your Bacon". On December 10, 2017, in his faithful white VW Golf, Andres plays for Emilia a recording of his choral performance of a Bach motet, and he asks her to follow along in a Bärenreiter score. As Emilia reads through the score, she discovers a sequence of post-its with drawings of images that spell out "Would you be my girlfriend?" She is stunned and tells him she will "think about it." A few days later, after much thought, she decides she has to turn him down, and tells him so in a reply to his follow-up over a Facebook message. The Woodenzuela Cold War commences.

.......La Woodenzuela, Act Two....... The Cold War

circa 2017-2020

SCENE: Emily's house They are, mas o menos, frenemies. Emilia expresses her longing to be BFFs in her aria, "I'll Be There For You", but Andres wants to run away to a farm with her and a bag of kale chips or something. They are both RIDICULOUSLY stubborn (but he's more-so, of course). Communication is hard, but they are praying for each other. Eventually Andres resigns from veganism, and Emilia renames him "ex-VB" in her cornucopia of journal entries about him (seriously, she wrote pages and pages about him and still somehow didn't realize...). In August of 2020, shortly after her best friend's wedding, Emilia is philosophical. The gracious and patient Lord dumps a proverbial bucket of water on her head and makes her *finally* realize that she likes Andres whether she likes it or not. She is an emotional train-wreck for three days as she ponders this revelation and prepares to drive to Baylor for her final year of graduate school. The night before her drive to school, hardly 5 minutes after praying she would trust God's guidance and His will be done, Andres messages her with a casual "Hey," and she is confounded. They have a pleasant, uncomplicated conversation, and the next morning, she drives to grad school encouraged.

.....La Woodenzuela, Act Three..... "¿Quieres ser mi novia?"

circa 2020-2021

SCENE: The internet and such Donna Emilia and Don Andres slowly develop their relationship again. She continues to worry about him and she misses him while she's away at grad school in Texas. At last, in May of 2021, Emilia graduates with her master's degree, and she returns home to California. The two nerds continue to keep in touch over the internet and by phone. About a month later, amid a conversation about food, Andres suavely asks her if she would like to meet up for a "quick bite" at Empanada Maker, where they meet several days later--their first one-on-one outing. Andres makes fun of Emilia's sloppy usage of chimichurri, and he alerts the cashier that there are two ants haunting the beverage station in his famous and popular aria, "There Are Two Ants on the Counter". In the weeks following, they go out on several official dates. On July 9, 2021, sitting together on a bench on the pier, Andres asks Emilia, "¿Quieres ser mi novia?" Shocked and definitely NOT as familiar with Spanish as she thought she was, Emilia is NOT ready to be his wife, and she promptly replies, "Not yet!!!!!!" Andres is sad for a moment, then intelligently asks her what she thought he said. She replies, "I thought you were asking me if I want to be your wife!!!" He gently corrects her and clarifies that "novia" means "girlfriend." She is relieved, and she says sí.

.....La Woodenzuela, Act Four..... "Will You Be My Fiancée?"

July 9, 2022

SCENE: Emilia's house, several other places Donna Emilia is suspicious: It is their one-year anniversary, and Don Andres told her he wanted to come over early to practice music for church before they leave for their anniversary adventures. This is very unusual behavior for Andres. That morning, Emilia overhears her parents talking about "not making her suspicious." Could this be the day he proposes? Emilia is incredibly anxious until Andres comes over in the afternoon and, miraculously, sits down to practice his music for church. This is historic. Emilia is flabbergasted. And for some reason, she drops all suspicion. It has been a wonderful and busy year: Every month, he gave her flowers and she gave him something she adorned with google eyes (this is a tradition they continue to this day). They have enjoyed many a Tecate, and Emilia learned the importance of IPAs. They had arguments and many difficult times, but they always reconciled and supported each other in the end. They had become best friends, and Emilia was excited to celebrate what God had done in their lives this year and since the day they met. They go bowling in Newport Beach and proceed to leave after some friendly and intoxicated strangers start buying them too many shots for no evident reason. That evening, they have dinner in San Clemente, and Andres takes Emilia to the beach to "look for shells." Moments later, he is speaking with a photographer despite his being allergic to pictures. For some reason, Emilia is a total doofus and is still not suspecting anything. They walk down to the shore, pose for the photographer, and Andres gets down on one knee and proposes to Emilia. She says "Absolutely!" and he slips on her finger a beautiful ring. People clap. Bystanders snap pictures. At the close of the act, the two sing a duet about love, beer, and Bach: "Dear Hallmark Channel, We Have a Story For You".