Hannah & Josh
Who Even Are These People?
Elana
Officiant (Josh's Sister)
WHAT’S MY FAVORITE MEMORY WITH JOSH? Sharing a room with him when we were younger and staying up late telling stories and trying to scare each other - WHAT'S THE WORST SONG TO PLAY AT A WEDDING? Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton - IF I WERE A CICADA, WHAT WOULD I DO WITH MY 4-6 WEEKS ON THE SURFACE? Shouldn't all cicadas have a role in trying to protect the climate? - WHAT’S AN EMBARRASSING STORY ABOUT JOSH? Josh was given an empty coffee cup as a prop in a musical and as he spoke, he moved his hands so much that the cup would've spilled EVERYWHERE if there was anything in it. He had no idea why the audience was laughing - HOW WOULD HANNAH AND JOSH REACT TO A PENGUIN IN THEIR HOME? Josh would imitate the penguin and waddle behind it until Hannah didn't find it cute anymore
Marcus
Officiant (Hannah's Brother)
WHAT’S MY FAVORITE MEMORY WITH HANNAH? Whatever is happening in the above photo! - WHAT’S MY ZODIAC SIGN AND IF IT GOT IN A FIGHT WITH A BEAR, WHO WOULD WIN? Gemini - does it count as winning if only one twin survives? - WHO IS MY SPIRIT MUPPET/JIM HENSON CREATION? Socky, the slippery and mercurial adolescent salmon - IF I WERE A CICADA, WHAT WOULD I DO WITH MY 4-6 WEEKS ON THE SURFACE? Shed my shell and fly as close to as many people's ears as possible - IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT ADVICE WOULD I GIVE HANNAH? Facebook is a trap - and it’s not nice to wake people up by jumping on them
Emily
Lady of Honor (Hannah's College Friend)
WHAT’S MY FAVORITE MEMORY WITH HANNAH? Freshman year when we were just getting to know each other, and we walked in the rain to the Cupcake Emporium because I had no idea then how special Hannah would be to me, how many cupcakes and chats we would share in college, and that we would be lifelong friends! - IS A HOT DOG A SANDWICH AND WHAT DOES THAT MAKE FALAFEL? No because the bun is one piece, and a falafel is a wrap. So maybe a hot dog is a wrap? - WHO IS MY SPIRIT MUPPET? Statler and Waldorf - IF I WAS A CICADA, WHAT WOULD I DO WITH MY 4-6 WEEKS ON THE SURFACE? Follow the most annoying humans I know, driving them bonkers and leaving skin shells in their shoes - WHO WOULD JOSH RATHER FIGHT: 100 DUCK-SIZED HANNAHS OR 1 HANNAH-SIZED DUCK? 1 Hannah-sized duck, also known as 1 normal duck
Marion
Lady of Honor (Hannah's Sister-In-Law)
WHAT’S MY FAVORITE MEMORY WITH HANNAH AND JOSH? Finding them at Industry City for Marcus’ surprise birthday (and the amazing food we had)! - WHAT’S MY ZODIAC SIGN AND IF IT GOT IN A FIGHT WITH A BEAR, WHO WOULD WIN? Cancer - we won’t fight because I always have food to share, I’m small and inoffensive - WHO IS MY SPIRIT MUPPET? The Muppets weren't broadcasted in France, but is there one that's always hungry? - IF I WAS A CICADA, WHAT WOULD I DO WITH MY 4-6 WEEKS ON THE SURFACE? Hop from ice cream to ice cream in search of the best chocolate ice cream, and hear people scream because I guess I’m scary? - WHO WOULD HANNAH AND JOSH RATHER FIGHT: 100 DUCK-SIZED JOSHS/HANNAHS OR 1 JOSH/HANNAH-SIZED DUCK? 100 duck-sized Joshs and 100 duck sized Hannahs, and I'll be watching with some popcorn
Melissa
Lady of Honor (Hannah's High School Friend)
WHAT DO I THINK THE WORST SONG IS TO PLAY AT A WEDDING? Any episode of the Joe Rogan Podcast - IS A HOT DOG A SANDWICH, AND WHAT DOES THAT MAKE FALAFEL? Everything is a soup or a sandwich. Falafel is usually eaten in a sandwich, but if it is just the falafel itself, it's soup. Just a very solid soup - WHO IS MY SPIRIT MUPPET? Beeker - WHO WOULD HANNAH RATHER FIGHT: 100 DUCK-SIZED JOSHS OR 1 JOSH-SIZED DUCK? 1 Josh-sized duck, DUH. 100 is so many. All the mini Joshes would be able to team up. A duck isn't intelligent. Hannah could take it even though it is bigger than she is. 100 duck-sized Hannah's could take over the world, easily - IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME TO HIGH SCHOOL, WHAT ADVICE WOULD I GIVE HANNAH? Hang out with me more. The boys you have crushes on right now are laaaame
Polly
Lady of Honor(Hannah's College Friend/engagement ring maker)
WHAT’S MY FAVORITE MEMORY WITH HANNAH? The first time Hannah saw me, she thought I was super weird because she saw me at the gym in an orange, tube top, terry cloth romper, but then we ended up best friends. (No, I did not intentionally pick that as my gym outfit, I was meeting someone for a yoga class and was running late and didn’t have time to change!) - WHAT’S MY ZODIAC SIGN AND IF IT GOT IN A FIGHT WITH A BEAR, WHO WOULD WIN? Aquarius - undetermined, depends on the topic of the argument - WHAT DO I THINK IS THE WORST SONG TO PLAY AT A WEDDING? Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood - kinda seems like a bad omen - WHO IS MY SPIRIT JIM HENSON CREATION? Mokey Fraggle - IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME TO COLLEGE, WHAT ADVICE WOULD I GIVE HANNAH? Nothing, I don’t want to mess up the time space continuum!
Sarah
Lady of Honor (Josh's Sister)
WHAT’S MY FAVORITE MEMORY WITH JOSH? Watching cartoons and playing video games/with that giant tie dye ball that's lost to the abyss - WHAT’S MY ZODIAC SIGN AND IF IT GOT IN A FIGHT WITH A BEAR WHO WOULD WIN? Aquarius, and it would not fight the bear. The bear is at peace with the water because it brings the bear fish - IF I WAS A CICADA, WHAT WOULD I DO WITH MY 4-6 WEEKS ON THE SURFACE? Scream - WHAT’S AN EMBARRASSING STORY ABOUT JOSH? When Josh forgot his bow and Charlie forgot his bass at an orchestra concert so they only had one instrument between them and had to take turns for each song - HOW WOULD HANNAH AND JOSH REACT TO A PENGUIN IN THEIR HOME? The penguin somehow got to Philly, got up the stairs, and opened the door. They wouldn't have a choice, they'd have to do whatever it said
Charlie
Best Man (Josh's childhood friend)
WHAT’S MY ZODIAC SIGN AND IF IT GOT IN A FIGHT WITH A BEAR, WHO WOULD WIN? Scorpio, and most people might say, "Hey it's just a letter M," but I say, "Yeah with an arrow on the end." Put some honey on that and no bear walks away - IF I WERE A WEDDING CAKE, WHAT FLAVOR WOULD I BE? Four-tiered chocolate hazelnut with Tahitian Vanilla frosting and "Hitched Like A Trailer" written in red icing on each tier - IS A HOT DOG A SANDWICH, AND WHAT DOES THAT MAKE FALAFEL? Websters defines falafel as a small croquette made with ground chickpeas or fava beans and spices, often served with salad and tahini in pita bread. This distinction of IN rather than BETWEEN is what makes falafel, and hot dogs, open-faced wraps and not sandwiches - WHO IS MY SPIRIT MUPPET? Fozzie Bear being puppeted by Animal
Jon
Groomsman (Josh's brother-in-law)
WHAT’S MY ZODIAC SIGN AND IF IT GOT IN A FIGHT WITH A BEAR, WHO WOULD WIN? Libra, the bear would - IF I WAS A WEDDING CAKE, WHAT FLAVOR WOULD I BE? Lemon - WHO IS MY SPIRIT MUPPET/JIM HENSON CREATION? Rowlf or Super Grover - IF I WERE A CICADA, WHAT WOULD I DO WITH MY 4-6 WEEKS ON THE SURFACE? Probably nothing while trying to figure out something - HOW DO I THINK HANNAH AND JOSH WOULD REACT TO A PENGUIN IN THEIR HOME? Probably keep it
Morris
GROOMSMAN (not actually a dog)
WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE MEMORY WITH JOSH? Driving to and from Washington, DC in one night and going to the empty Lincoln Memorial at 2am where I almost lost my toes to frostbite - WHAT’S MY ZODIAC SIGN AND IF IT GOT IN A FIGHT WITH A BEAR, WHO WOULD WIN? Taurus the Bull so it really depends on the bear: Panda: absolutely will mess that bear up Polar: still think the bull has the advantage Black Bear: 50/50 Grizzly: 100% the bear - IS A HOT DOG A SANDWICH, AND WHAT DOES THAT MAKE FALAFEL? A hot dog is a taco therefore not a sandwich. A falafel is a bread bowl - WHO IS MY SPIRIT JIM HENSON CREATION? David Bowie's crotch in the movie Labyrinth - IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME TO COLLEGE, WHAT ADVICE WOULD I GIVE JOSH? Tell Morris to buy bitcoin