Two are becoming One

Orlando: I met Claire Marie on a Christian Dating App called Salt. I had tried several apps, and almost deleted Salt after sending a message to Claire Marie because I was tired of meeting people who did not reciprocate my effort. Two weeks before we met, I shared my frustrations with some friends and they encouraged me to stand firm with my standards and continue dating, reminding me that there is a woman who would be thrilled to match my effort. Thankfully, I listened. Claire Marie messaged me back on Salt, and after a brief back-and-forth, we decided to meet each other in Oceanside at Rim Talay Thai Cuisine. I had a rule that I would only commit about an hour to a first date and then move on to a longer second date if I was interested. I got to the restaurant a few minutes late (thanks, I-5 freeway weekend traffic), and let Claire Marie know that I made it to the spot. She had taken a stroll to the beach to kill some time and made her way back. I recognized my cute date from her pictures, but man, she was a sight to see in person. Immediately, I thought to myself, "That is a pretty white girl." I stood up to salute, er, shake her hand, and greeted her. We sat down and got to talking. I brought this card game with me called We're Not Really Strangers (WNRS) to play with her. It is a simple get-to-know-you game that I found some people to have difficulty with. I strongly believe in the quote, "People can only know you as deeply as you know yourself." During this game, I began to see that this was a woman of great depth. Before I knew it, our hour had flown right by and I didn't want this date to end. I broke my rule, pointed out that it's a pretty nice day, and that we should check the coast out. We walked down to the Oceanside Amphitheater and continued playing WNRS. I felt so happy to connect with someone that was willing to engage with me in these questions and even ask me to go deeper with some of my responses. I don't know how much time had passed, but I knew that I didn't want the date to end yet, so I suggested ice cream! We continued to do WNRS as we stood in line and then sat eating our ice cream. Before we knew it, four hours had passed. I offered to walk Claire Marie back to her car and told her that I would like to do another date with her soon. She said that she was up for that. I didn't realize that this would be my last first date. Claire: After several years of struggling through frustration and heartbreak with dating while being active duty Navy (and living overseas), I downloaded a few dating apps as sort of a dating rage-quit. It was in ways my last attempt to connect with a Christian man who shared my values in earnest. Salt, as such a new app, was not very popular yet so I only checked it periodically. In June of 2023, I opened it one day to see a two-week-old message from Orlando. We chatted online, then agreed to meet that weekend. From the moment we met, Orlando struck me as a man of confidence, principle, and intention who knew not only who he was, but also exactly what he wanted. I was impressed. The few dates I'd had so far off of dating apps had not shown much promise. In fact, my confidence was a little shaken as the date progressed. Could I measure up to such a sweet, handsome and charming character? I resolved to be myself as fully as possible and hope that would be adequate. Soon, hours had passed and while I was still nervous, I was very excited about the connection we shared and the possibility of more dates in the future.

Claire: By our third date, I was sure I wanted to be with Orlando. I remember asking him his ideal way things would play out for us if all went well, and hearing him say we'd become official after two months or so. That sounded great to me - except my parents were going to be in San Diego starting August 23. We had been doing dates most weekends, so during our date on the 13th, I decided to bring this up. My intention was to let him know that we'd either have to take two weekends off, or he'd be meeting my parents if he wanted to see me. To my surprise and delight, Orlando pulled out a WNRS card he had prepared for this occasion: "Ask Anything - permission to go there" and asked to become my boyfriend! Orlando: So far, I had been going on dates with Claire Marie for about 7 weeks. I had another dating rule that I ended up breaking: date for two months before making it an official relationship. I was a week shy, but I felt extremely sure about Claire Marie. I enjoyed all my times with her and enjoyed showing her parts of California that she hadn't seen yet. I trusted her and who she said she was. I was smitten by her attractiveness and phenomenal character. For the past few dates, I had been using the WNRS cards to leave notes for Claire Marie after our dates. I was going to ask her to be her boyfriend with the "Ask Anything" card. I asked her out to go to Casa Guadalajara, see Fiesta Island, and do an escape room. I didn't plan when I would ask her, so I figured the moment would present itself. After a fun lunch and drive, we walked around Fiesta Island for a bit. Claire Marie told me that her parents, Heidi and Tony, were going to be visiting California over the next two weeks and staying with her. She brought this up because we had been doing dates every week and she wanted to know if I wanted to meet them during those two weeks or just take a short break from our dates. She told me that they would like to meet her 'friend'. I figured this was the moment presenting itself so I took my WNRS card out and showed it to Claire Marie. I admitted to her that I was very fond of her and that her parents should meet someone that's more than just a friend. I told Claire Marie that I wanted to be her boyfriend and she agreed.

Orlando: Another rule of my dating timeline that I broke was waiting for a year before proposing. After our trip to Michigan for her brother's wedding, I knew that I wanted to marry Claire Marie. If I waited until August, it would be another full school year before we would get married, MAYBE. I didn't want to waste any more time away from her. After praying a lot and considering how much was going to change in a very short amount of time, I asked Tony to FaceTime in April. I told him that I loved his daughter, wanted to continue the rest of my life with her, and asked for his blessing. Tony was pleased with this request and after a few questions, he gave me his blessing. I had asked Claire Marie about rings and she had told me she had a Pinterest board that Heidi had access to. Heidi came to visit in late April, so I asked for her help then. Throughout the trip, Heidi and I would quickly share details with each other whenever Claire Marie wasn't around. Having a rough idea of what she would want, I purchased the ring a few days later. I then asked Claire Marie out to a date at the lavender farm in Beaumont, CA. We bought our tickets for June 1, and Claire Marie had her suspicions. For the next month, I would remind her that I was going to ask her parents for their blessing during our trip to Michigan in July. I would tell her all the time, "July can't come soon enough." I asked my friend Jess to be our photographer, and I contacted the WNRS company for a "Will You Marry Me?" card. Once everything was confirmed and received, all that was left was to propose. I took Claire Marie to the fields and told her that I had a WNRS card that I wanted to give her. I took a knee and asked her to marry me. Claire: From the beginning, Orlando and I planned to date for a year or more before getting engaged. In January, we realized this would likely mean staying long-distance for one more school year. I prayed many times that things would work out differently so that we could be together in the same city sooner. By May, Orlando had applied to many teaching jobs in San Diego and I was beginning to believe it might be possible - but I still thought we would not be engaged until August or later. When he asked me on a date to the lavender fields, I thought it was a little suspicious that he suggested we dress up nicely. Then, the ladies from church wanted to do a spa day and get our nails done the week before our lavender date. It all seemed to scream proposal, but I chalked it up to a coincidence thinking we were waiting for our year. I spent half of the week leading up to this date stuck in airports. I'd been sent last-minute to Norfolk, VA for work and wound up with several delayed and canceled flights. The one blessing of the trip was serendipitously seeing my dear friends Sarah and Davis, as they were in town on orders too. When Sarah asked about Orlando, I even told her it felt like a proposal was coming, but that it couldn't be since we hadn't been dating for a year yet. Thankfully, I got home in time to meet Orlando for our date. By the time we were walking up to the farm, I had convinced myself based on his calm demeanor that there was no way he was proposing here. I told him my thoughts, and he simply said "yeah, I'm waiting for July to ask your dad." I believed him and resolved to have a wonderful time of not-getting-engaged at this beautiful spot, even taking some selfies with him to make sure we captured our cute outfits. After wandering some shops, Orlando led me to the fields where I, in clueless bliss, photographed some honeybees on lavender flowers. Eventually he pulled me up, took my shopping bags and set them aside, and gave me the "Will You Marry Me?" card. Then he knelt and held up the most beautiful engagement ring! Shocked to my core, I hardly remember what happened next. I just know I squeaked out a "yes!" and I didn't stop shaking for a good twenty minutes. Best surprise ever.