Lauren & Jacob
Wedding Party
Lauren Brown
Bride
The woman, the legend, the beautiful Lauren Brown (not for too much longer). Lauren is currently deciding whether to change her last name to "O'Neal" or "Bro'Neal". Luckily for Lauren and Jacob, everyone who is invited to the wedding will be the ones to decide this gigantic decision that cannot possibly have any repercussions. She is the point of contact if anything is to go wrong. :) So please don't blame Jacob for any of it.
Jacob O'Neal
Groom
Jacob is the groom. I would assume if you're coming to this wedding you already know how amazing this guy is. Jacob is the smartest, wittiest, most handsome, funny, and strongest guy in the world. (Written by Lauren 100%)
Megan Parmelee
Maid of Honor
Meg and Lauren have been friends since kindergarten. Anytime they are together you will often overhear them talking about their glory days of excessive mascara use in middle school and dragging their dads along to One Direction concerts. Meg is the soon-to-be "Top Pharmacologist of Her Generation".
Austin Young
Best Man
Austin and Jacob met in high school and bonded over their quick witty humor and hilarious improv skills. Seriously... these guys got an invitation to be on "Whose Line is it Anyway?" and "Saturday Night Live", but in order to not upstage and embarrass the cast with how good they are, they respectively declined the offer.
Sarah Davis
Bridesmaid
Also known as "Jacob and Lauren's roommate, but also Lauren's cousin". Sarah and Lauren are essentially sisters at this point. Sarah spends her free time at home switching sides and harassing Jacob or Lauren depending on the day. She lives underneath the apartment's staircase and hisses at fellow occupants. Sarah is currently studying to become a ventriloquist so she can accomplish her lifelong goal to be paid as a professional jokester. If at any point any medical emergency is to occur at the wedding please direct all attention to her and frantically scream Sarah's name as she is our resident certified nurse ᵃˢˢᶦˢᵗᵃⁿᵗ. The last fun fact about Sarah is she and her father are famously known for getting an autographed selfie with Alex Honnold and later throwing it away.
Victor Bayleaf Jones
Groomsman
If you're looking for Victor you probably won't find him walking on the ground like all of us other normal people. You'll often hear him before you see him as he comes swinging by screaming like the modern Tarzan that he is. Once you crane your neck back and search the treetops trying to find this one-of-a-kind arborist you'll understand why Jacob chose him to be a groomsman. He brings not only knowledge of the great outdoors, but also a wildness that every bridal party requires.
Anna Lanning
Bridesmaid
A neighbor to Lauren when they were kids; distance has not allowed these two to become distant. Anna is always up to no good with her dog Hank and smoking hot husband Patrick. Speaking of Hank, if you need someone to teach your dog how to skydive then look no further than Anna. Don't ask questions you just gotta trust us. Currently an investor in Google and Meta she is currently rivaling Elon Musk for the wealthiest person in the US of A. Be careful of being in her way on the dance floor as she has the skill to "move it move it" and the strength to knock you over over.
Sam Wilson
Groomsman
*Vroom Vroom* What was that noise you just heard? Oh, that was Sam and his van that he lives in traveling across the United States. Sam is sometimes in Utah, sometimes in Colorado, sometimes in Arizona, sometimes in... you get the point? You're probably asking yourself what does Sam bring to the bridal party? Two words: dance moves. Particularly the famed dance move called "The Squiggle". Be on the lookout for his Netflix documentary on his climbing lifestyle!
Kaitlyn Reavis
Bridesmaid
Owie! I hurt my arm and Lauren is currently wedding planning! Is there anyone else who can help me? Wait, did someone just say that they know an (almost) physical therapist? Kaitlyn is here to save the day! If she isn't studying you will often find her traveling the country curing the geriatric and athletic communities of all ailments from a rolled ankle to emergency ortho surgery. Partners in crime during class back at Western Carolina University Lauren and Kaitlyn have been known to throw paper airplanes at unsuspecting classmates. Watch your eye at the wedding or you could be her next victim!
Brandon Olsen
Groomsman
Sparks are flashing and mathematic formulas are writing! Brandon's hand is usually cramping up because he is always writing and drawing up new ideas with that engineer brain of his. Known for being WCU's Climbing Club gym member of the year in 2018 and 2019. Brandon is a friend to all and is known for the CRAZIEST of facial expressions. Catch him doing facial gymnastics with all of those wacky expressions at the wedding!
Emily Absher
Bridesmaid
Is that Meryl Streep? Wait, no I think that is Sutton Foster! Oh no! It's actually the equally talented Emily Absher! Emily is known for being in every broadway show since her birth in 1998. While taking a break from it all and soaking in the sun Emily has the hustle of a professional athlete and the musical mind of the top 10 grossing musicians in 2022! Listen closely and you'll hear her beautiful voice singing and humming during the reception!
Jimmy Pederson
Groomsman
From the hit classics of "Has anyone seen Jimmy?" to Ruth screaming "JIMMY!!!" Jimmy is a little bit of a renaissance man. A class clown during his time at school to being a farmer by trade. Jimmy is known as the muscle of the group. Anytime anyone needs something picked up Jimmy can do that for you. Whether it is a heavy piece of furniture to the weight of societal pressures to figure out what you are doing for the rest of your life Jimmy is the guy to help you with all your needs. And sorry ladies, this man is already married and taken by the top Asheville radio woman of our decade.