Brittney & Adrian
Wedding Party
Schae Martin
Bridesmaid
Meet Schae—the black-and-white goddess to my full-spectrum sparkle, my co-conspirator for 22 years of glorious mischief and slightly suspicious behavior. Together, we’ve collected more inside jokes than the FBI has redactions and caused enough chaos to qualify as an extreme sport. While I chase rainbows like a caffeinated unicorn, Schae floats in like a moody moon goddess—cool, composed, and always about three steps ahead of the nonsense. We don’t need daily check-ins—our friendship runs on witchcraft, telepathy, and the occasional meme at 2 a.m. She’s fierce, loyal, a little spooky in the best way, and—allegedly—knows what acid does to dental records. But hey, we don’t ask, we just bring snacks and an alibi. So raise your glass and maybe hide your shovel—this wedding wouldn’t be the same without my iconic Chica: part sorceress, part chaos whisperer, and forever legendary.
Stav Corocos
Groomsman
Meet Stav—the original gym goblin, chaos enthusiast, and walking contradiction in gym shorts from three decades ago. He was the first of Adrian’s iron-pumping crew, which either makes him the founding father of fitness or the inaugural member of the “lift now, question reality later” squad. Fresh off wreaking delightful havoc in NYC, Stav enters any room like a hurricane with a protein shaker. He lives on a pendulum swing between megalomaniac confidence and genuine, heartfelt loyalty, and honestly? We wouldn’t have him any other way. Recovering from surgery? He’ll still be repping like it’s the Olympics. “Not a bodybuilder,” he claims—while sculpting delts like he’s about to step on stage and steal trophies. So when you see someone deadlifting with dramatic flair and a suspicious gleam in their eye… just know: that’s Stav, the enigma, the icon, the legend.
Emilia Bovard
Bridesmaid
Meet Emilia—the Romanian vampire who lifts religiously, sparkles under gym fluorescents, and still trains more consistently than the rest of us mere mortals. (Antonio, sweetie, we love you—but the receipts are brutal.) She’s tiny, terrifyingly disciplined, and suspiciously ageless—basically the gym-floor version of a Underworld reboot we didn’t know we needed. Calm in the face of chaos and wildly unimpressed by our excuses, Emilia is the steady heartbeat of our wedding party. If someone loses a shoe or catches fire (emotionally speaking), she’s the one who’ll quietly fix it with sutures—with a side-eye that says, “Seriously?” We met through our gym crew, but really, she should’ve met us centuries ago… probably while doing Romanian deadlifts in Transylvania. To quote her directly - "Bleh bleh bleh!" So raise a glass of red (wine or blood—dealer’s choice) for Emilia: the fierce, the focused, the fang-tastically fabulous.
Antonio Deconcini
Groomsman
Meet Antonio—aka Sam Sulek’s long-lost gym doppelgänger, the goobest of goobs, Bob the Builder with a sweet tooth, and living proof that diet plans fear commitment just as much as he does leg day (which he heroically tackles once a year—maybe). Skip his workout? Absolutely. Rebuild your deck from scratch? Already halfway done. This man thrives on chaos and candy, scaling indoor cliffs with pockets full of Skittles and the determination of a sugar-fueled mountain goat. If he’s not mid-climb or mid-project, assume he’s mid-snack—probably in the bakery section “just browsing" and cowering in fear from his vampire girlfriend, Emilia. Say “cake” and you’ll see him materialize out of thin air like a frosting-fueled ninja. The last person who did? Still looking for their dessert—and missing a chunk out of their arm. Builder, climber, snack thief—he’s chaos wrapped in charm, and this crew wouldn’t be complete without him.
Saoirse Fahy
Bridesmaid
Meet Saoirse—certified hurricane in heels, chaos dealer, karaoke queen, and my personal emotional support goblin since 2018. From the moment I met her, life got louder, wilder, and way more fun. We’ve tag-teamed cigar lounges, caffeinated our way through existential crises, and performed karaoke with the energy of a rock band playing their final farewell tour. She’s loud, she’s wild, she’s got main character energy—and the uncanny ability to slip into a Sid the Sloth voice at exactly the wrong (or right?) moment. So if you hear someone lovingly whisper “the last dandelion of the season” across the dance floor, that’s just Saoirse in her element. So grab a mic, a drink, and maybe a dandelion—because this wedding wouldn’t be half as fun (or unhinged) without my favorite gremlin.
Alex Bolles
Groomsman
Meet Alex—Cut Co kingpin, gym bro on a mission, and entrepreneur of chaos (and questionable form). He’s probably closing a sale as you read this, because hustle never sleeps and neither does his phone—which, by the way, will be confiscated if spotted during the ceremony. Always ready to greet you with a grin, ask about your life, and then completely ignore your lifting advice seconds later. He’s got the kind of heart you can’t teach—gold-plated and funded entirely by commission checks. Oh, and if Jason says you’re all hanging at Alex’s place? That’s news to Alex too. He’s working hard to catch up to Jason’s glisten levels—one inconsistent bench press at a time. Until then, he’ll charm your grandma, finesse a sale, and hit a PR with posture that makes every trainer cry. So raise your glass (and maybe a dumbbell) to Alex—sales superstar, accidental host, and the reason we’ve got both killer knives and killer vibes.
Ciara Conn
Bridesmaid
Meet Ciara—beauty guru, glam architect, and the only person trusted with my wedding-day face and sanity. She didn’t just marry my baby brother Tyler—she stepped into the family like a sparkling hurricane of style, sass, and salon-level expertise. A licensed cosmetologist and custom press-on nail artist, Ciara doesn’t just do nails—she sculpts tiny works of art while sipping iced coffee and delivering life advice that hits harder than contour. If my hands look like they’ve been blessed by the nail gods on wedding day, it’s because they have—her name is Ciara. Always polished, never predictable, and somehow able to make “running to Target” look like a runway show, this woman radiates cool under pressure and hot girl energy on demand. So when you see perfectly manicured nails clutching wine glasses, know you’re in the presence of my sister, my glam girl, and the reason all the girls are looking this good—Ciara.
Jason Sherman
Groomsman
Meet Jason—our resident sleepy lumberjack with abs of steel, discipline for days, and a golden hour glow that could light up the entire vineyard. No macro goes uncounted, and no shirt stays on once the sun hits just right. Witnessing him “wipe sweat” off his brow? Honestly, it’s a form of performance art. He’s the chaos-fueled planner of the gym bros—the guy who lifts with precision, and somehow always ends up organizing group plans… exclusively at other people’s houses, with decisions nobody remembers agreeing to. Yet somehow, you'd still call him first if you needed help moving a couch or cracking open a stubborn jar of peanut butter. He’ll give you the shirt off his back—not out of selflessness, but because the sun hasn’t seen his abs in three hours and that’s just unacceptable. So raise a glass to Jason—golden, glistening, gloriously overcommitted—because every crew needs a hero in gym shorts and a full-blown main character complex.