Best Man (No Hair)
A real live wire with his own van
Maid of Honor
Wonder Twin Power, activate!
Best Man (With Hair)
Drives: boats, trucks, his girlfriend crazy
Bridesmaid
Not to brag, but she can exsanguinate a rat in one pull
Groomsman
Aspires to one day see Josh Allen play in a Superbowl (à la Jim Kelly)
Bridesmaid
Genius painter, passionate birder
Groomsman
Still working on figuring out how to spell "Pennsylvania"
Bridesmaid
Theater Director Extraordinaire!
Groomsman
Became a lawyer so he could spend all his time traveling
Bridesmaid
Her ultimate goal is to be eaten by a hammerhead shark
Groomsman
Currently learning Spanish so he can watch his wedding video without subtitles
Bridesthey
Has the professional expertise to tell you with confidence that Palestrina is better than Josquin
Groomsman
Has lived on three different continents, a big step up from the rolling swamps of New Jersey
Bridesthey
Spins yarns, both literally and figuratively
Officiant/Bridesman
THIS GUY SINGS OPERA