When a handsome bearded man with a precious golden retriever came up on my Hinge account, I happily sent the first message. Something really profound, "That's a pretty cute dog." Groundbreaking, I know. When Alex messaged back, he quickly set himself apart from other guys I had talked to - serious, deep, no banter. And honestly, I wasn't sure what to make of it. I let him sit for a while, but when he popped up again, I noted the intentionality, and we started messaging again. After a few more notes exchanged, I was pretty sure Alex's predominant personality trait was "serious." But I'd gone on a few failed dates with guys who I thought were hilarious until I met them in person (sorry, dudes), so Alex intrigued me. Soon after (and deep in COVID times of 2020), Alex and I had our first date via video chat, where I was impressed to learn that Alex was not only intentional, but he was also wise, kind, interesting, and downright hilarious. A week or so later, we had our first date in Ventura, where I remember noting how easy it felt to be myself with Alex, even when I found him ranting passionately about aqueducts and the water shortage in California. It was just comfortable. One date turned into three, and I started to slowly settle into how much he cared for me already. I headed to Kansas City to visit family, where I found myself tearing up while talking to Alex on the phone late at night. I was continuing to grow more and more in awe that such a good man would choose me. Nearly three years later, I still feel that way. I still get caught off guard by Alex's unconditional love for me - through every up and down. In the last three years, we've been through a lot. That magical "honeymoon period" of dating was cut quite short with my intense onset of what was eventually diagnosed as relationship OCD - a disorder that often left me trapped inside my head, riddled with fear, and in a puddle of tears. I often am amazed that not only did Alex stay through all that, but he showed up consistently with grace, understanding, and love. I've been too much for people quite a few times in my life, but not for Alex. He made our relationship a safe space for real healing, and he worked on his own stuff too. Through the steady love of Alex, the expertise of a brilliant therapist, and the grace of God, I finally emerged from the fog of ROCD in the summer of 2022. I settled into contentedness, eased out of constant fear, and we got to feel the wonder of normal days together. And it's what I wanted forever. When Alex proposed, he talked about choosing me everyday forever, at my worst and my best. And I don't think I'll ever get over that. On November 5th, Alex and I get to commit to loving each other for the rest of our lives - and our eyes are wide open to do that. To me, that means even more. We aren't riding any waves of rose-colored glasses. We know how hard things can get, how short we can both fall, and how worth it the journey is regardless. As cliche as it may sound, the love of Jesus is clear to me through Alex (his dry humor, aqueduct rants, REI affinity, and all). There isn't anyone I'd rather love.