Our youngest son, Beethoven, has been bravely navigating life with… a limited number of brain cells. Donations toward his ‘higher education’ are warmly welcomed. Contributions will support critical needs such as advanced treat-based learning, keeping glass cups on the table, and ongoing research into why he stares at walls.

Our only daughter, Muffin, was once sent to New Jersey for what was described as ‘Summer camp at Grandma’s’—& has shown absolutely no interest in returning. Whether she’s living her best life or being gently held hostage by the resident's of Asbury Park, we may never know. Contributions to her ‘lifelong summer camp fund’ are welcome & will support her continued coastal lifestyle, daily lounging by the pool, & what we assume is a very demanding spinach and artichoke dip with grandma meal plan.

Our eldest son, Henry, spends most of his days rotating between the many ‘zen rooms’ (closets) throughout our home & carefully selecting the one that best matches his mood. Donations will support a walk in closet renovation with expanded lounging space, dimming light options for an optimal snooze, and a safe space away from his demanding new little brother who knows no boundaries.

Our middle son, Kai, has strong career aspirations: full-time beach resident. His daily goals include digging holes in the sand, taste testing fishermen’s bait, urinating on surfer's belongings, and dramatically fleeing from low tide waves.Donations to his beach house fund will support his dream lifestyle and hopefully give him more time to learn that eating sand is bad for him.