Sam & Patrick
April 25, 2026
Thank you for considering us! 🌟 After 9 years of living together, we are grateful to have a home filled with everything we need to get by. These are the big & little gifts we daydream about if you'd like to make our day even more special.
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Our featured fund
Help this DIY couple achieve their dream of owning a home!
Cash fund
Property Fund
Group gift
Funds we are NOT allowed to use for anything other than goofing off & hanging out (we promise!)
Cash fund
Honeymoon Fund
Group gift
We've got someone to cover the basics, but 600 gets us an extra hour. Ready for your close up? Contribute to this fund!
Cash fund
Wedding Photographer
$600
Group gift
Dining in is the big way we've been tying our purse strings to get this wedding off the ground. If you want to pay it forward, we promise to give you the insider info on all the best spots in our foodie city!
Cash fund
Eating Out Fund
Group gift
Don't deprive our future offspring of cool photos of their young parents leaning against cute little bikes. Help us putter around our coastal city in style!
Cash fund
Moped Fund
Group gift
Sam has been to a Ren Faire for her birthday every year for the past 3 years. Let's keep it going!$40 would pay for fair entry for two, $100 for meals, $200 for transportation. Or you can just mail us a crown to similar effect.
Cash fund
Minneapolis Ren Faire
$600
Group gift
Sometimes you want your hands free to use power tools, or make a latte, or conduct evil experiments! Chains will help us maintain our rowdy lifestyle while still donning our nuptial accessories in style.
Cash fund
His and Hers Chains
Help us grow our collection! If you'd like us to specifically purchase one of your favorites, please send us a note -- and tell us why the album is special to you ❤️
Cash fund
Vinyl Records
$30
Group gift
We live in the most beautiful part of the world. Help us enjoy it on and off the coast with the novel apartment-size kayak!
Cash fund
Collapsible Kayak
Imagine this-- you're walking through the airport, and you see a couple goofing around in matching sweat suits. You think "wow, they must be in love!" That could be us, with your generous contribution!!
Cash fund
Airport Hoodies
$60
We need so many of these it's actually wild. Contribute 10+ and we'll write your name on a tile to commemorate your generous donation, 100+ and we'll paint your likeness on the back of one!https://www.proceilingtiles.com/Stratford-Ceiling-Tile-White.html
Cash fund
Ceiling Tile
$5.79
A wonderful publication keeping us connected to Southern Stories! We strongly recommend this article, if you'd like to learn more about their storytelling style: https://bittersoutherner.com/the-many-voyages-of-walter-anderson-horn-island-mississippi
Cash fund
Bitter Southerner Subscription
$60
Group gift
Whiskey old enough to drink — as hilarious as it is delicious.Sam's favorite, and a group effort!
Cash fund
Glenlivet 21
$400
One of our dream trips! Each pass buys one patron a month of Amtrak travel.
Cash fund
Amtrak Rail Passes
$500
If we get enough donations, Patrick will work on his backflip for the grand finale
Cash fund
Dance Lessons
$20
Another way to support a great publication! Check out some of their offerings on their webpage here: https://bsgeneralstore.com/collections/bitter-apparel
Cash fund
Bitter Southerner Merch
$32
Purchased
Patrick's calves are twice as powerful as Sam's. Help us level the playing field for silly little picnic dates, on wheels!
Cash fund
Tandem Bicycle
$200
Purchased
Yes, a KitchenAid... Totally not a PlayStation 5... That would be absurd..........
Cash fund
KitchenAid Stand Mixer
$500
Purchased
Gives our camper the 'oomph' for overnight ski trips, fall and winter camps, and more! Literal adventure fuel.
Cash fund
HCalory TB2S+ Diesel Heater Toolbox 2s Plus
$200
Purchased
Windows thrown open, glasses chilled, citrus pressed, fresh margs on the patio. You in?
Cash fund
Manual Citrus Juicer
$60
Purchased
Sam's second favorite whiskey
Cash fund
Glenlivet 12
$60
Purchased
There is only one discoverable version of this 2000 Muppets Racemania advertisement available online. For $20 and $13 shipping to Portland, it could be ours......
Cash fund
Fine Art
$33
Purchased
Did you know the internet can be portable, even in the most remote areas of the world? This amount covers the Starlink and our first month of service, to post photos and share stories from wherever we may go.
Cash fund
Starlink Mini
$250
Purchased
Take cool air in during the summertime, blow out garlicky smells at dinnertimehttps://www.vornado.com/shop/circulators-fans/window/transom-window-air-circulator
Cash fund
Vornado Air Circulator
$109.99
Purchased
https://www.philips-hue.com/en-us/p/accessory-hue-tap-switch-mini-white/46677582036
Cash fund
Hue Tap Switch Mini White
$54.99
Purchased
philips-hue.com/en-us/p/hue-white-and-color-ambiance-play-light-bar-double-pack/7820231U7#features
Cash fund
Hue Play Light Bar Double Pack
$175.99
Purchased
https://www.philips-hue.com/en-us/p/bulb-g30-e26-smart-bulb/046677577407#overview
Cash fund
Hue E26 smart bulb
$87.99
Purchased
Verve Culture
Mexican Cantaritos Cocktail Kit
$44.99
Purchased
Ole Miss' Southern Foodways Alliance is a wonderful publication that puts out four magazines per year, all featuring stories of Southern excellence. Help us stay connected to the South with a household membership, and support cultural work in the state of Mississippi! We've listed three of this item to account for three years of readership.
Cash fund
Southern Foodways Alliance Membership
$100
Purchased
One year access to our local court to ball at our leisure!
Cash fund
Pickleball Membership
$120