If all else fails, we can open a Jamba Juice.

2020 was the year in which Brett was introduced to linen shirts, and that newfound passion has clearly extended to other items.

In the thumbnail, you'll notice that this bed has about 20% of the amount of pillows that our bed currently has on it. Not germane to the sheets, but still.

Sometimes, linen ain't it. So we're playing the hits with cotton!

Pop quiz: what is the difference between a king pillow and a standard pillow? Answer: King is 10 inches longer. Take that to the ole water cooler!

We've already talked waffles in this forum, but what of the humble pancake?This could even allow for a picturesque full breakfast on the skillet, taking us one step closer to Brett's dream of having an industrial-grade flattop cooking surface in his life.

Baking sheets are absolute workhorses. We use them - and when we say "them" it's one Brett got 10 years ago and another we found in our oven from the last tenant - for everything.

We have a colander. It's a puny baby that has no ability to rest on sinks. It will be humbled by this colander.

Step one: bake a cake. Step two: let it out of jail.

Tell ya what, Kaela despises chopping. Finding a tool that can dice things up on a cutting board with almost no skill required was an important goal (and a theme, really).

Not every pan comes with a lid, so we want a lid that can fit on every pan.

May have made a skillet cornbread once, taken it out of the oven, forgotten it had been in the oven, and then pretty nicely hurt my palm grabbing the handle 3 minutes later.

We've researched several ways to peel garlic: smash it with the back of a knife, shake it in a cocktail shaker or between two bowls, etc. But since we don't want smelly hands nor garlicky cocktails, this is the fix.

Do they even let you have a wedding without registering for a stand mixer? We're not trying to find out!

What are we supposed to do, make pasta with our HANDS?

Two things our kitchen is sorely missing: scientific precision, and the ability to make a jammy egg. Why not knock out both of those in one shot?

Like "Dexter," but for food!

True story: Kaela once accidentally bought a roll of plastic wrap that is half a mile long. These are not that long.

Just THINK of all the shaved brussels sprouts salads we can make with this slidey-knifey-deal (technical term). I just got goosebumps!

This bad boy has an automatic milk frother that requires zero skill whatsoever to heat and foam your dairy to your heart's desire, which is good since Kaela's request for coffee machines was "I don't want to have to learn anything"

Can't beat Belgian waffles. This also may someday be repurposed to "waffle-ize" other things, like hash browns or perhaps ribs (if you're one of my old roommates)

If there's one thing you need when using a spinning blade on a stick, it's ~control~. Well guess what - it's right there in the name!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcUs5X9glCc&ab (+ oven)

The brown + simmer technique of braising is essentially the "bend and snap" of the culinary world.

We made a delightful pesto lasagna a couple times last year, and you know what it could have used? A bigger baking dish.

Chicken tastes better with grill marks on it, this is indisputable.

Silver poooooot, silver pooooooooot, it's souping tiiiiiime, in the cityyyyyyy...

The salad hands are not to be confused with creepy mid-2000s internet phenomenon Salad Fingers

Gotta stay sharp in this world, especially if you're a knife

The bride and groom have dimples. The knife has dimples. No brainer.

If you've ever watched a dude in Chinatown breaking down a Peking duck, you become highly aware of how incredibly dope a cleaver can be.

Don't let the size fool you: this blade can slice a tomato so thinly that you can read a book through it.

Once the steaks are sous vided and grill-panned, gotta cut 'em up with something!

This is 100% for Brett, which most of you know but is worth stating for the record

Do you know the Muffin Pan, the Muffin Pan, the Muffin Pan...

When you make that perfect chocolate chip cookie, it needs ideal airflow to retain it's chewy center and slightly crunchy bottom

Pyrex is the Kleenex of liquid measuring cup brand awareness, and consider us imprinted upon!

There's something eminently satisfying about locking those little arms down on your leftovers, as if to say "hey y'all, this is for YOUR safety"

*One* of us already had a starter tool box and drill (it was Kaela), but it's time to upgrade to something with some real horsepower.

Waffle is the linen of the wintertime, when you think about it

Brett feels so passionate about omelets that he posted an Instagram tutorial on how to make a French omelet properly. This pan will also be great for that hotel buffet style omelet we all used to order on vacation: basically a meat lover's pizza wrapped in eggs.

Clearly we're fans of this brand of pans out of Scandinavia (aka SCANPANS). This will replace a pan Kaela bought in Chinatown 8 years ago and has lived a good, but complete, life.

If you commit to Shredding For The Wedding, they actually make you register for these. The more you know!

These bowls are pretty mondo, my dudes. If you were to eat cereal out of them, it would be about half a box and a quart of milk. And now that I mention it, maybe we'll settle in with a giant bowl of Golden Grahams one day just to live out the prophecy.

Sometimes you want to drink wine, but you don't want to worry about that pesky high center of gravity. Luckily, there's a product for that.

Look, it's either this or a tourist shop shot glass that says "FBI - Female Body Inspector"

All the class of a martini glass, but with far less of the risk of sloshing it all over yourself

The perfect vehicle for a 97% champagne, 3% OJ mimosa (aka "Kaela style")

Slightly curvy around the edges, just like Brett

Insofar as a wine glass can be handsome, this one is. So angular! It basically has cheekbones.

This is the "I'll just pour myself a little afternoon iced coffee" glass, the "I have a guest over whose main drink is something else but it would be nice to give them a water too" glass.

We gotta use something before yelling "you got SERVED" at people in our home, right?

Fruit bowls are not generally thought of as kitchen items you could also effectively use as weapons, but we are here to CHANGE that narrative

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDzn-2AkHVo

This isn't as handsome as the red wine glass, but white wines aren't gaudy like that. Great personality though.

We've got a small microplane and medium microplane, but what about shredding up the cheese for taco night? How have we even managed without this?

These are dinner plates, but you know what? We're planning to use them for breakfast and lunch too. That's called RESOURCEFULNESS.

We already have some of these. We like them a lot, just need to fill out a full set!

This is by far and away the most sciency-sounding cutting board on the market

As stated previously, who wants smelly garlic hands? Plus, I prefer to put my garlic into a tiny garlic guillotine of sorts.

Bodegas are a staple of New York, so it was fitting that these would be our future glasses.

At this point I've seen "Mercer" so many times that all I can think of is the Hamilton line "The Mercer legacy is complete"

Wine, like all of us, benefits from a little fresh air. Who could blame it?

These bowls aren't THAT mini. They're a perfectly good size for some of Kaela's patented Late Night Annie's with chicken apple sausage.

Salad can't touch the other stuff on Kaela's plate because "the temperature and flavor mix gets all yucky"

We've already got a kitchen torch, not having ramekins is the only thing standing between us and homemade creme brulees (or cremes brulee? Is it like "passersby"?)

Just spitballing here, but imagine a little French onion soup in here with gruyere melted over the sides. Tres bien!

Brett would like to do more at-home frying in the future, and if you want to get that shatteringly crisp crust on a piece of fried chicken you simply MUST start at 300 and then double fry at 350. But you knew that already.

On Thanksgiving, this is basically a little countdown clock outside the oven. Everyone can watch the turkey come up to temp in real time - exhilarating!

"How many kitchen-related thermometers do these people need?" you rightfully ask. The answer is three, for now.

These are aspirational sheets for a bed which we do not yet own, one that can comfortably fit both of us sleeping in our desired splayed out positions.

Again, we have so many pillows to dress up. Just an unfathomable amount.

We sleep at drastically different temperatures - Brett is a Quilt Guy because he runs hot.

It was a fierce competition with Roomba, but Shark won out. Lil' Carpet Jaws here has a better nav system than most Teslas.

Irons haven't always been eco-intelligent, but this one, as you can see, is green.