Hello you gorgeous friend or family member, thanks for stopping by! We love and appreciate you for being a part of our lives; so please enjoy our surprisingly good taste in housewares, but do not feel obligated to spend any money. There's nothing on here we need except all of you!! Also, please enjoy the jokes :)
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The eighteen inch model will fit perfectly on our stove and allow Jacob to make his four-at-once smash burger dreams come true!
Best Roasting Pan for Gourmet Home Cooking - 18" | Misen
$159
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Jacob is worried people will say he has a small spatula. It's also for smash burgers. And something else we can't tell you about.
5" x 6" Hamburger Turner with Walnut Handles - Lamson
$39.99
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Jacob really does not need this.
Frieling Double-Walled Stainless-Steel French Press, Brushed, 44 Ounces
$159.95
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Group gift
One member of this couple, who loves nostalgic arts and crafts, values aesthetics over practicality, and isn't afraid of being labeled a hipster, has amassed a large record collection with no way to play it. The same person would prefer to have a record player in the obscenely expensive "walnut" finish, or not have one at all! Okay, it's both of us.
Orbit Basic Turntable - Walnut Finish
$369
0%
$369 still needed
$369 still needed
Group gift
Milo and Cricket have been telling people that, "The best gift you can get for Jacob and Erin is actually a medium-sized cardboard box full of mice and catnip." Please do not believe them. How can they be so smart and still not have figured out burying their poop?
Neakasa M1 Open-Top Self Cleaning Cat Litter Box
$429.99
0%
$429.99 still needed
$429.99 still needed
Jacob totally doesn't steal any of Erin's favorite body lotion and totally doesn't think it's heavenly to smell like a goddess in a rose garden .
Ro's Argan | Body Conditioner | LUSH
$64
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
We were going to make a sexist joke about washing dishes and sore feet, but Jacob knows better than to make jokes about performing his duties.
GORILLA GRIP Anti Fatigue Mat - 20"X32" - color: "Hunter"
$43.99
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Erin told Jacob these were the best sheets. Jacob didn't believe Erin when she said these were the best sheets. Then Jacob did "research," and the internet also said that these were the best sheets. Only then did Jacob agree that these were the best sheets. Then Erin said the wedding was off. But we still want the sheets.
Classic Percale King Sized Sheet Set in "Cream"
$194.65
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Erin likes the ways comforters look "lofty" when the bed is made, but prefers to sleep with them kicked on to the floor. Jacob still doesn't understand why a duvet cover doesn't cover a duvet. Suffice it to say, we need a blanket, a blanket woven out of dreams and so many stiff peaks.
Dreamweave King Waffle Bed Blanket in "Abyss"
$211.65
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Group gift
Sleep is a mystery; you want to feel warm and cozy, yet cool and refreshed. You want to cuddle up with your boo, but also starfish until you push them off the bed. You want to fade into nothingness, yet dream of riding tortoises through tropical reefs. We feel this mattress will magically resolve all these contradictions.
Copperflex 12" King Size Mattress, Hybrid Model
$899.25
0%
$899.25 still needed
$899.25 still needed
Group gift
Our next bed frame needs to be able to stand up to a lot more than our current one can handle: jumping on the bed, flopping after a long day's work, Jacob's bolt-loosening snore; we dream of the day we will have furniture stable enough for us to finally consummate our relationship... so buy us a resilient bed frame and sponsor our future child's conception!
King Size Platform Bed Frame - "Walnut" - Japanese Joinery Bed
$599
0%
$599 still needed
$599 still needed
At first we thought it sounded pretentious, but now we can't wait to try fried air.
Philips 3000 Series Airfryer with Window
$119.95
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
This will attach/match with our existing sofa from burrow and give us a lounge pad fit for an emperor's harem.
Range Ottoman in Moss Green
$311.20
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Group gift
Cash fund
Dinner For Two
$100
0%
$100 still needed
$100 still needed
T.J.MAXX Gift Card
$100
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Group gift
Cash fund
Milo & Cricket Fund
Contribute what you wish
Contribute what you wish
In order to iron her clothes, Erin uses a thick felted mat, a rickety wooden table, a hot block of granite and the steam generated by her efforts. Jacob just bakes at 350 for 10 minutes.
Brabantia
Ironing Board A with Steam Iron Rest
MSRP $116.99Our price $104.99
Free shipping
Available to ship Jul 13, 2026
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
It was either this or a full-time butler for Milo, to run the faucet as needed.
Dockstream 2 Smart Fountain in White
$89.99
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Modern Wood Floor Lamp with Shelves and Beige shade
$85.68
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Safavieh
Topher Adirondack Outdoor Chair
MSRP $156Our price $134
Free shipping
Available to ship Jul 10, 2026
Asking for 2
Purchased 0
0 of 2 purchased
Aura Frames
Carver Mat Digital Photo Frame
$179.99
Free shipping
Available to ship Jul 10, 2026
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Brabantia
HangOn Large Drying Rack
MSRP $71.99Our price $64.99
Free shipping
Available to ship Jul 13, 2026
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Etsy Gift Card
$100
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
4 Slice Toaster - Porcelain White
$199.99
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Fujifilm instax mini Link 3 Bundle - Green
$126.99
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Pura
Mini Smart Fragrance Diffuser, Set of 2
$69.98
Free shipping
Available to ship Jul 10, 2026
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Ashley Furniture
Jolina Assorted Keepsake Box, Set of 3
$63.99
Free shipping
Available to ship Jul 10, 2026
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Lifetime 4 ft. One Hand Adjustable Height Fold-in-Half Resin Table; Almond 80943
$44.98
Asking for 1
Purchased 0
0 of 1 purchased
Purchased
Ah, enormous waffle weave towels. One towel has the surface area of 3 regular towels! Do they get you too dry!? We hope to find out.
Set of 2 Dreamweave Waffle Bath Sheets in "Pebble"
$101.15
Purchased
Jacob is an aggressive juicer, and he broke our last one. This one looks a lot sturdier.
OXO
2-In-1 Citrus Juicer
$19.99
Purchased
Erin has long wanted a kitchenaid mixer in some shade of green, and this one in "Agave" was calling to her. Jacob wanted the bowl-lift model because it means he can achieve "stiff peaks" in under 30 seconds. His obsession with "stiff peaks" is disconcerting.
KitchenAid® 5.5 Quart Bowl-Lift Stand Mixer - Agave