We will be able to really mix it up boom whoa!

Pillow? Why yes! Ghost Pillow?? Anna's fav movie of all time is Casper starring Devin Sawa. And though this pillow is not Mr. Sawa, it's the closest she'll ever get.

Coffee's great, but sometimes, it's a pain in the butt. Some say Nespresso's are wasteful, what with the plastic pods and whatnot, but no, Yago, the lovely sales rep at Bloomingdales sale "they give you a bag to recycle them!" Okay! Well, we're a woke couple, so we pledge, PLEDGE, to recycle these pods!

You want salad when you come to our house, right? Or a big bowl of mussels. Whatever you put in it, a big bowl quickly proves its worth as a team player in the house.

We've been cupping our hands and putting food in them, so please, please, please get us some flatware!

Another serving bowl?! I don't know.

This is Amazon's photo for these bowls. Honest!

Look, we've got a whole bunch of mismatched plastic where that we make Tilly lick clean so we can re-use. Hook it up!

Serving bowl, meet serving spoon. A match made in China.

Fork fork dork dork bork bork mork mork

This towel matches a coffee mug that we stole off some guy, so if you get us this, they'll never suspect us!

This is the first of three towel sets

This is the second of three towel sets

I lost count

Anna promises she'll cook if we get her this. Don't get her this.

People are tired of me always "eyeballin' it."

Baking AND Storing?! No way!

This one's just for storing, so don't get any ideas.

Prep bowls for the planner in you

This if for measuring drugs so we can make some extra money

This is for tormenting Uber drivers with volumnic measurments when they just want to know about measuring in weight. What?

Why in the goddamned hell do those stupid Le Creuset things cost so much damn money when it's just this with some enamel on it. It don't work no better! Jeez Louise!

A slope-sided saucier performs all of the functions of a straight-sided saucepan, with the added advantage of rounded edges that make whisking and combining ingredients a snap. What does this all mean? Sauces! Yeah boyeeeee!

Made in Cleveland.

They're nice and double as weapons. Bludgeon people to death with the OXO Good Drips Lily Wood Mil Set today!

So Comfortable! Such soft! Hypoallergenic 100/100!

$400 knives?!?!?! Yup. Nobody's expecting anyone to buy these, but holy smokes are they nice! Purchase these knives for the happy couple and receive free meals for LIFE at their home/apartment/box! Losing money not to!

Delicious wine! Good price! Wall Street Journal? Make wine great again. Or make the WSJ editorial section not terrible for the first time. I don't know. They didn't ask me. They should have asked me. I had great, terrific fantastic ideas for the WSJ editorial section, believe me. But they didn't ask me. SAD!

Excited to be heading to Spain for our Honeymoon!

Tea towel is a thing, right?

What were you, raised on a farm?