I remember meeting Greg on the first day of 7th grade. We’d been assigned to Mr. Budroni’s homeroom and Greg sat at the front of the classroom clad in our school's navy blue uniform*, and his famous anime neck lanyard. When Greg introduced himself, he met me with a wide smile, a friendly handshake, and his customary “Hey Miss” greeting. I specifically remember the warmth that radiated from Greg when he was around friends– he was different from anyone else I’d met because he wasn't concerned about being the middle school version of “cool”--he was intent on building real friendships. Greg would ask you how you were doing and actually make space to listen and remember what you said so he could follow up. I remember when my Mom met Greg for the first time. Greg had started walking me home towards the start of 8th grade–where we’d meet my mom who’d finish the walk with us. She quickly took to Greg’s energy and when she began her lunch catering added Greg to the list of folks getting lunch that day. Her creations were flavorful, and inventive and often made Greg the envy of most people in our class. To this day Greg and I still talk about her cornbread meat pies that she’d wrap in parchment paper and foil marked differently so we’d know which was his. When Greg and I reconnected during college we found new energy in our friendship. My once best friend quickly became someone I could share absolutely anything with. During my senior year, Greg became one of my biggest support systems during my mom's battle with cancer. He would call me while he was working in the media center in the evenings, and we’d talk about our dreams after college, the stress of writing last-minute papers, and about absolutely nothing. Greg has always had a way of getting me to talk about absolutely nothing–he’d find funny videos for us to laugh at, and send me memes during the day that I savor to this day. He had a way of lighting up my life in ways I didn't even know I needed. I think I knew Greg was “the one” in August of 2016. My mom was nearing the end of her battle, and Greg asked me if it would be ok to surprise Mom with a visit. I’ll admit I was nervous at first–It didn't matter that she knew and loved Gregory from years before… I’d never brought anyone “Home” to my Mom. She always got inklings I'd liked someone but Greg was different. From the day she met Greg, Cynthia (my mom) decided that Greg was the most special person she’d ever met. She loved to hear him sing, being around his kind energy, and his forever love of her food. I knew I couldn't deprive her of this moment–so Greg planned a trip with his family's help to visit my mom in Milwaukee, WI. I remember getting his text that he’d arrived at the hospital, and began rushing to the elevator. He was dressed in a classic airport business casual and was holding a large bouquet of flowers for mom. Leave it to Greg to make an entrance–when he walked into my Mom’s room he started to sing to her and in moments she was sobbing and overwhelmed with joy. The moment is forever stamped in my memory because I'll never forget how loved my Mom felt–and how it felt to be supported by someone in that way. For the next 4 days, Greg sat with mom, myself, and my high school bestie Lydia Smrz-Xiong as we loved on her through some of the roughest parts of her last days. When she ended her battle in September–Greg was there with me again as we lowered her into the ground. I’ll never forget holding Greg’s hand while he sang at her burial. Filled with grief, I remember looking at this person who seemingly just popped back up in my life, and feeling like I wouldn't be alone in this life if God let me keep a piece of that feeling.

When I took Greg to Barbados last Christmas, we had one of the most transformative experiences we’ve ever had in our relationship. Greg had recently left a toxic job to pursue his love of music, and I’d left the stress of the Mayor's Office–we were both in desperate need of replenishing. Greg is someone who loves different cultures–he immerses himself in the food, the markets, and making friends! Needless to say, Bim was no different–and he quickly became a favorite of everyone he met including my family! Anyone who knows me well, knows I’m very distrustful of water and my hair. Greg convinced me to let him teach me to float in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and it was the most freeing experience I’ve ever had in my life. The feeling of the water swaying our bodies, but also knowing we were safe is a feeling that I’ll never take for granted. That experience feels a bit like our relationship in a way–things have been rocky and it's caused us to have to adjust, but we were still safe with each other. When I reflect on the last almost 6 years of doing life with Greg I’m reminded of what it means to choose joy and what it means to be in community with people. We’ve been through so much together in such a short amount of time and it feels like each day we learn something new about ourselves. Today someone asked me “Why Greg”--and the answer was really easy. I’ve never met anyone who has made me laugh more, been more consistent in their pursuit to love me, be open to learning about my experience on this Earth, been kind and accepting to the people I love, and made space for me to be!

Hey Y’all so Zakiya put me in charge of telling the story (now grab a popcorn and a seat because what I am about to tell you is 100% true *terms and conditions may apply It was the first time she was in my Math class, long hair brown skin … oh wait that’s J. Cole… But it was 7th grade, I didn't have swag, but you know my sweater vest game was ELITE, my trusty Yu-Gi-Oh lanyard was on point, my braces just got the new aqua blue bands and my spectacles was fresh with a new prescription. (just setting the scene so you know) And at that time, here comes this spicy but friendly 4 foot something new student, hair bouncing with curls, lunch box matching the outfit, and a personality that was like a magnet to those around her. She was new transfer, and while we sat on different sides of the classroom, there were moments where we our eyes connected. I mean low key, I tried to set up quick conversations between lunch, recess, and gym class, but I knew I wanted to be her friend. Moreover, since we both lived in the neighborhood, I figured I’d put the Disney Channel stories to work, and walk her home from school and try to carry her books and stuff. But from there I realized that I want her to be in my life longer than the next 2 years of middle school, and from that walk from Vanderbilt to Adelphi, we stretched a 4-minute walk into 30-minute conversations like what songs are on our iPods, whose lesson was really hard to understand, who had a crush on who (Remember: I had to play it cool). From walking home to looking for each other during the school dances, even Ms. Cynthia would pack her an extra lunch for her to bring for me, at that time if you’d ask were we dating? … in my head yes … but in actuality, I was paying rent in the friend zone. This went on for the next two years until 8th grade. Where after graduation, I finally got the courage to ask her out and be official. Now mind you … this was the summer before High School and I saw the whole picture in my head, new school, new girl, and a new flip phone with unlimited text messages, I just needed to not be the only one who felt this way. And then before I could ask … (Y’all know the feeling when you get to the front of the restaurant line and the cashier tells you that they fresh out of oxtail gravy)… so yeah this girl had moved to a different state…. So this-that-and -the third- Fast forward to November 2012, I’m in college, and on Facebook (yep remember FB) I get this friend request from a “certain person” and before I even get a chance to slide in her message I see ⁃ - “Hey Stranger long time no speak”- - Come to find out someone is returning to NYC for a winter break and wanted to see her friend … FRIEND!!! (*insert Zakiya phrase here*) But you know I had to play it cool and planned a “ Not-Date Date” in Manhattan because when you’re young and broke what do you do?… you go to the worst place for any person who hates overpaying for any subpar service. Our Date: Meet at Grand Central, some window shopping, a movie, and (many of you don’t know this) for me an introduction to Indian Food and the first time I ever had Chicken Tikka… yep it's her fault. And the dates just kept coming, bowling, drives, movies, food, (Groupon tickets for 18+) events but the timing was off. We both returned back to college and realized we because of the distance this wouldn’t be a good time to be in a relationship. BUT SENIOR YEAR….. On October 27, 2015, with her in school in Minneapolis and Me in school in Pennsylvania, we made a commitment to try to support each other through one of the most difficult years of our life. While months have continued, family numbers have grown and fallen, every week when I ask Hey Z do you still love me?”, she has never failed to respond with something as crazy as “you know I’m still tryna figure that out … but check with me next week”.

The story is that I get to marry my best friend, someone who makes me laugh with her commentary on the behavior of stupid and/or rude people. I get to marry my best friend who is unafraid to ask me the hard questions, and reminds me to be tender with myself and firm in my beliefs. On this day I get to marry my partner, who reminds me that convention has no place in a mind unwilling to question its existence. And after fifteen years, one month, and a few days of knowing someone on October 30th I get to marry a wonderful woman who lights up my life and made living so much more exciting… except when we can't decide on what to eat for dinner tonight.