Maid of Honor
The Loch Ness Monster doesn't believe in her either. Refers to coffee as "bean water" and tea as "leaf juice".
Best Man
Confounded scientists by once laying a real chicken egg. Once spent an entire day trying to figure out how to open a banana the "right" way.
Bridesmaid
Insists that armadillos are merely undercover turtles. Claims to be able to jump as far as the snow leapord in the Roger Williams Zoo jump test.
Groomsman
Refuses to eat spaghetti unless it's cut into tiny pieces. Is left unsatisfied by Snickers.
Bridesmaid
Can only remember song lyrics from kids-bop originals. Pronounces the l in salmon like some kind of fool.
Groomsman
Does a perfect dolphin impression upon request. Claims he’s never seen a potato before, and doesn't know what they look like.
Bridesmaid
Only drinks root beer from a glass bottle, because it "tastes better". Insists that cereal is technically a soup.
Groomsman
Loves the TV show Young Sheldon, just wishes it was a little bit less racy. Wears socks while swimming.
Groomsman
Thinks "Quinoa" is an undiscovered planet in our solar system. Claims to have invented the high-five but has no proof.
Junior Bridesmaid
Once travelled to Belgium, only ate regular waffles.
Junior Bridesmaid
Has a pet rock named "Dwayne Johnson".
Junior Bridesmaid
Once tried to enter a pancake eating contest, but gave up after just one pancake.
Ring Bearer
Thinks an alpaca is just a fancy llama.
Honorary Flower Girl
Has a vast knowledge of all types of weaponry, and can effectively utilize all in a fight.
Honorary Ring Bearer
Has been arrested for several counts of fraud, insider trading, and embezzlement.
In Loving Memory