Matron of Honor
"ZashCash". The protective care bear. Ready to defend me, and is always one sentence away from starting something. She always has an ER story to tell. All in all, we are just so happy that we bailed her out in time for our special day.
Best Man
The last single Umaña — lives outside, hardhat enthusiast, working on his Hoopmixtape. Ask him about his love for papayas.
Matron of Honor
My first "wife". She left me for a man, but we never stopped talking. We survived high school and trauma bonded. The love is strong even though she's an Android user. "Shorty I don't mind".
Best Man
Knows way too much, so he's forced to stick around. Almost at Unc status. If he's speaking Spanish by the end of the night, it's too late.
Maid of Honor
Proof that sometimes babysitting pays off. This muscle mommy stays caffeinated, is always first in line at Marshall's, and can teach you how to professionally overpack.
Groomsman
Preaching on Zoom, rolling through life, and still convinced the Orlando Magic will win it all… someday. Also the reason this wedding is being broadcasted across the globe.
Bridesmaid
My cousin who used to choreograph dances and force us to be her backup dancers. Clearly she’s been preparing us for this moment our whole lives.
Groomsman
Nascar, pero con J. Los tres golpes - te vende un carro, te canta el contrato y encima te hace un chiste pa’ que firmes feliz. Su canción ya esta disponible en Apple Music y Spotify.
Bridesmaid
A weapon on the dance floor. Her Duolingo streak is undefeated, because correcting your grammar in one language wasn't enough. If things get a little wild, we may need to call Charlie.
Groomsman
If you meet him, you will never forget him. Make sure you’re around for his iconic breakdance moves. This is probably his 87th wedding... this year.
Bridesmaid
SUMMEERRRR!!! Our favorite barista. She's sweet, serves looks and lattes, and is somehow fluent enough in Spanish for when the tea gets hot.
Bridesmaid
The life of the party. Has the voice of an angel, and some dangerous dance moves. Might fight with Jascar over the mic. We parted ways when Rahmel entered the chat — so please respect her privacy during this difficult transition.
Groomsman
Has never failed a vibe check. Can talk to a wall and leave with a new friend. If there’s silence, he fixes it. The dance floor fears his moves. "Papi bring the pitcher."
Bridesmaid
My first, and hopefully only child. We used to share the same shoe size until she grew up. She is a singing sous chef and a chemist with paint. She also really loves Ramen.
Bridesmaid
Mailisti. La hermana mayor de Anita. Cubana soñando con sus K-dramas en Netflix. Siempre lista para celebrar a todo volumen y con subtítulos.
Bridesmaid
Anistis. 14 yendo pa' 30. No entra a un cuarto, ella llega, se roba el show y deja a todos temblando. Escóndanle los dominos.