FAQs

Question

I plan On Drinking Heavily, How Should I Travel?

Answer

The bus will depart the hotel at 5:15PM, for venue arrival at 5:35PM ish After the reception, the bus will then depart the venue at 11PM to bring guests back to the hotel.

Question

What is the attire?

Answer

Formal Wear. You are attending a wedding. Men can wear a suit, or a dinner jacket, dress pants, and dress shoes. Women can wear a nice dress or gown (Ladies if you know, you know)

Question

Can I bring my child to the wedding?

Answer

Would you bring your child to a bar? Wait I forgot Millennial's don't know the answer to that question. It's a No from us Dawg.

Question

Is there a hotel block?

Answer

The Artisan hotel is where most guests are staying. The block is now closed, but rooms are still available.

Question

This wedding takes place on a Thursday, isn't that unusual?

Answer

You are reading this on a screen, behind that screen are microchips transmitting data through a network connecting you to a worldwide intercommunication platform. There are a lot of unusual things in life, a Thursday event really isn't too crazy.

Question

Does the Bride and Groom have custom cocktails?

Answer

The grooms cocktail is a vodka soda (so unique) The brides cocktail is a vodka Sprite (even more unique)

Question

Is there parking at the venue?

Answer

The venue has plenty of parking. There is no valet on premise. This way you don't have to worry about your friends, dads, "borrowed", vintage Ferrari being driven by the attendants. Still don't get the reference... Bueller? Bueller?

Question

I am secretly in love with Joe, can I still attend?

Answer

While I appreciate the attention, it wouldn't work out between us.

Question

2024 is an election year, can I talk politics during the wedding?

Answer

I assume you want to discuss the family politics of the McCallister's from the hit classic "Home Alone". What does the father do for work to afford that house? Why does Buzz and Kevin lash out for attention?

Question

I want to smoke lots of cannabis while at the wedding, what should I do?

Answer

Recreational cannabis is still illegal in the "Live Free or Die" State.

Question

Will there be wifi at the reception?

Answer

No, grow up and party like its 1987

Question

I have to fly in to attend the wedding, what airline do you recommend?

Answer

Spirit Airlines is currently the top rated airline in the U.S - Remember to bring quarters, as they are needed to unlock the toilet paper in the bathrooms... PLEASE, PLEASE do not fly in a Boeing plane!

Question

Will there be a cash bar?

Answer

Only for those using their mobile devices during the Ceremony/Reception.

Question

Will there be an open bar?

Answer

Did Nicolas Cage successfully steal the Declaration of Independence?

Question

There is a Chipotle right by the hotel, should I get a burrito for Joe?

Answer

Update - I no longer care for Chipotle anymore. Please skip the burrito!

Question

I Want a massive Adriana's family vs Joe's family flip cup game.

Answer

We do also!!! Although likely an easy win for Team Joe!

Question

Is it true Joe won the 2018 Peruvian beer pong championship?

Answer

Si Joe es victoriosa