When we went to Jerusalem for our first year at HUC-JIR, Ze’evi for cantorial school and Ariel for rabbinical school, we never knew we would be meeting the love of our life. By chance, we were paired to lead one of the first services of the year together. We met up to plan the service, but instead talked for hours about everything – life, queerness, Judaism, and cats. One day, walking home from a concert together, we stopped on the street corner where our paths diverged. Not wanting to separate, we stood there for hours talking. It was winter, cold and dark, steam erupting from our mouths as we laughed, illuminated from the street lamp. Finally, Ariel suggested we get falafel and go back to his apartment where it was warm. From then on, we formed a routine of getting falafel after school and going to Ariel’s apartment to do homework and watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Finally, Ariel could not hold in his feelings any longer. He told Ze’evi he liked them, and to his surprise, Ze’evi said they liked him too! Even though we only had two more months before we would return to the States, Ze’evi in New York and Ariel in California, we decided to be together. We knew then that our love was something special, and long distance would be worth it. On our first vacation together to Tzfat, Ariel bought Ze’evi a birkat habayit, a blessing for the home. Before Ze’evi left Israel, Ariel gave it to Ze’evi and told them that someday soon we would hang that blessing in the home we shared together. That was three years ago, and now it hangs in our apartment. While the year of long distance was difficult, we were able to find ways to be with each other. Through everything, we know that we are on each other’s side, and we can count on each other to be that safe person to talk with. Despite all odds, our souls found one another. We connected first as friends, and then as partners. We are so grateful to have formed this partnership, and can't wait to officially become a family!

When we first began talking about becoming a family, we discussed what we would do about our last name. We could keep our separate last names, we could combine our last names with a hyphen, one of us could take the other’s last name, or we could create a new last name. We decided to choose the last option: create a new last name. We wanted to come up with something that reflected our shared values. We decided to each come up with a list of values that we held. These values would represent our hopes for our future together. We went through the values together in English, highlighting the ones that we shared. We then went through our shared values and looked up the equivalent words in Hebrew. Factoring in both meanings and pronunciations, we decided on Tovlev (טוב-לב), which means kind-hearted. We love that we have found kindness in each other. We love that our partnership has grown that kindness. Tovlev is not only a value of ours, but a blessing for the family we will build together. We look forward to becoming the Tovlevs on July 25, 2021.