Laura & Matthew
Wedding Party
Kristen McCoy
Maid of Honor
Laura's Older Sister. Mother to Waffles the Golden-doodle. Really good at spotting doppelgängers. If you had to replace your hands with something other than hands or claws, what would you put at the end of your arms? Pre paid credit cards What fad or trend do you hope makes a comeback? Bowl cuts
Dan Sullivan
Best Man
Matt's best mate since the middle school days of screamo music, tight jeans and long hair. What fictional character is most like you? Ferris Bueller What’s the weirdest smell you have ever smelled? My family dog growing up (Harley) would occasionally emit a foul smell from his sphincter. The vet said it was him clearing his anal sacs.
Katie McNiff
Matron of Honor
Laura's Oldest Sister. Mother of two beautiful gingers. Wishes she could have magic wands for hands. What is your spirit animal and why? A wombat, aka “a marsupial of mystery.” Because, who doesn’t want to be a marsupial of mystery? What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with absolutely no preparation? Disney Princesses. Education by necessity, not by choice.
Ryan McNiff
Groomsman
Laura's Brother In law. Father to the gingers. Fluent in Spanish. Miami Dolphins and Dave Matthew's Band Fan. What’s the weirdest smell you have ever smelled? Teen spirit. What did you want to be when you grow up? Batman.
Caitlin Sommers
Bridesmaid
Matt's Favorite Sister. Mother to Clover. Master of Powerpoints (she's very cool) What is your spirit animal and why? Panda bear. Loves hugs and eating, lazy, gives zero Fs Did you ever go to summer camp as a kid? If so, what was your favorite part? I went to Student Council Camp for a few days before 9th grade because, as established, I was very cool. The best part were the boys and the Talent Show.
Ryan Sommers
Groomsman
Matt's Bro in Law. Father to Clover. Knows a lot of nerdy stuff. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with absolutely no preparation? An analysis of the film Moana (2015) as a critique of capitalism What did you want to be when you grow up? I vividly remember writing a thing in first grade about how I wanted to be a taxi driver when I grew up and it's good I didn't because my dumb ass six year old self could not predict the rise of ridesharing apps
Lisa McCoy
Bridesmaid
Laura's Sister In-Law. Mother to Charlie. Has webbed fingers. What fictional character is most like you? Belle in Beauty and the beast, we both love to read and hairy men :) What is your spirit animal and why? A dolphin. Social and loves the beach :) Im also pretty positive a dolphin would love red wine and reading if it could
Joe McCoy
Groomsman
Laura's Brother. Father to Charlie. Really good at Captain Dan impressions. Badass fort maker. What is your spirit animal and why? A Centaur for my excellent archery skills and friendship with all the forest animals What could you give a 40 minute presentation on without any preparation? Breaking down weapons from a 9mm pistol to a rocket launcher.
Colleen Hasson
Bridesmaid
Matt's Tied for #2 Favorite Sister. Book Worm. Huge Queen fan. What is your hidden talent? Wanting to hit someone right in the face, but holding back. Except for that one time I slapped a bitch. What did you want to be when you grow up? A person who reads books all day, has a magical unicorn that grants wishes, can drink all the alcohol without getting too drunk or a hangover, and who maintains a healthy body weight and good heart health at all times. #adultgoals
Dan Prendergast
Groomsman
Matt's oldest/closest friend since Kindergarten. Is a hotdog a sandwich? Foolish question. Answer me this. When you ask your mother to make you something for lunch do you ask for a ‘Ham and Cheese sandwich’ or a ‘PB & J sandwich’? You’re damn right you do. Now, if you’re in the mood for a hot dog do you ask “Mom can I have a hot dog sandwich for lunch?’ HELL NO YOU DON’T. Get this question outta here. If you had to replace your hands with something other than hands or claws, what would you put at the end of your arms? Hot dog/T-shirt cannons. Can you imagine walking down the street? A friendly stranger waves to you across the way. BOOM! Have yourself a hot dog kind stranger. That same person gets mustard on their shirt. BOOM! Have yourself a new shirt my now friend.
Meghan Hasson
Bridesmaid
Matt's Tied for #2 Favorite Sister. Mother to Duncan (the dog). Throws a great party. What fictional character is most like you? Barb from Stranger Things - the friend everyone needs and is always a third wheel #WeAreAllBarb Did you ever go to summer camp as a kid? Yes, I went to sleepover soccer camp one time. I got in trouble for paying more attention to the boys than to the coach, we got "grounded" for the night because of it.
Jim Duffy
Groomsman
As children, Jim one time stuck gum in Matt's hair and as his Dad yelled at him, he cried "Does this make me a loser?" No Jim, you are not a loser. What’s the theme song to your life? I Kissed a Girl (and I DIDN'T like it) - Katy Perry What fictional character is most like you? I struggled with this one, so I took an online quiz and the result was Marge Gunderson from Fargo (?) don't cha know?
Danielle Mosch
Bridesmaid
Laura's bff. Dallas Cowboys fan (insults welcome) AOL screen name: XoBoYkRaZyBaByXo What fad or trend do you hope makes a comeback? Teens and pre-teens looking like awkward, ugly creatures as opposed to instagram models Did you ever go to summer camp as a kid? I only went to sports camp because I'm athletic AF, but the BEST part of camp was having lunchables. Legit the only time my mom would let me eat lunchables was when I went to camp.
Andy Severns
Groomsman
Matt's Friend. hAndy woodworker. Often takes off his shirt What is your spirit animal and why? The snow leopard or ghost cat - rarely seen, but when out and about it is a true spectacle If you had to replace your hands with something other than hands or claws, what would you put at the end of your arms? I’d go with strong magnets, but the ability to turn them on and off, this way I can climb things that are metal - call me magnet man
Lindsay Guillebeau
Bridesmaid
Lauras bff. From the cul de sac. Still trying to become Mia Hamm What’s the theme song to your life? Tubthumping by Chumbawumba What is your hidden talent? Estimating the amount of Tupperware required for leftovers.
Mike Healy
Groomsman
Matt's friend. Lives in Greenville, SC. Builds wind turbines What’s the theme song to your life? Kenny Loggins- Danger Zone What is your favorite quote or song lyric? Get busy living or get busy dying
Megan Sungail
Bridesmaid
Laura's former arch-nemesis on soccer field turned BFF. Also wishes she could have functional wands for hands. What fad or trend do you hope makes a comeback? Fanny pack. They really would be useful with a kid and as a nurse. Sometimes you just need your things at easy access when you don’t have pockets or it is to many things for pockets. Or pre baby when your drunken self might drop your phone in the toilet or lose it without being zipped in. Very multifunctional you see. What did you want to be when you grow up? A badass old person with the confidence of a drag queen. Originally I misread this question as what do you want to be when you grow up, but my answer stands.
Conor O'Donnell
Groomsman
Matt's friend. Lives in Oakland. Has a dog named Hoagie. Not related to Lauren. What fad or trend do you hope makes a comeback? Mustaches. I can grow an excellent, dirty mustache - but lack the ability to grow the trendy light beard as most dudes in their early 30s currently do. What is your spirit animal and why? Jack Badger. Pure, intelligent, genuine, loyal...but tragically lost in our complex world.
Lauren O'Donnell
Bridesmaid
Lauras bff. First met over smoking hookah. Not related to Conor. If you had to replace your hands with something other than hands or claws, what would you put at the end of your arms? Something with cheese. String cheese? Pizza? Mozzarella stick fingers? Could I eat it? Would it grow back? Maybe not cheese.. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with absolutely no preparation? Best players throughout the TV show Big Brother’s history. I think I may be the only person under 50 who is so invested in this show but it’s so good.
Sean Pincus
Groomsman
Matt's Friend. GRIT construction. Cant be bothered with text messaging Is a hotdog a sandwich? No, because a hot dog without the bun/bread is still considered a hot dog, but a turkey sandwich without the bun/bread is just slices of pathetic turkey If you had to replace your hands with something other than hands or claws, what would you put at the end of your arms? A re-generative Slim Jim in the left hand for endless fuel and in the right hand a ratcheting screw driver
Jack Badger
Officiant
Found him on Craigslist. What is your favorite quote or song lyric? "The only true currency in this bankrupt world... is what you share with someone else when you're uncool." - Lester Bangs, 'Almost Famous' What is your hidden talent? Ability to recite the entire movie/script of "The Goonies" & "Hook"