Person of Honor
Prettier than all of you (including the bride) And a real live unicorn!
Bridesmaid
My Lydipoo that's right! And a real live mermaid!
Bridesmaid
My gorgeous sister. We also had a twin language as children that only we understood. And a real live Valkyrie!
Bridesmaid
My baby sister. Watch out this is the coolest Slytherin Wizard this side of St. Petersburg!
Best Man
We did some serious day drinking at the Saddle Ranch one Monday before I had to go to work. We stayed in touch and I got sober while Paul got richer.
Groomsman
Calvin is my oldest brother. How he's lived to be 40 is beyond me . . .
Groomsman
Jared is my second oldest brother. How he's still willing to be at my wedding is beyond me. . .
Groomsman
Craig helped lift me out of the gutter. He's a big part of the reason I'm where I am today. Wait, where am I? . . . is this my house?
Officiant
"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WIN THIS ARGUMENT!" - Valentine Miele