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October 2, 2020
Benton Harbor, MI

Tabitha & Ben

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Ben Van Til

and

Tabitha Bacus

October 2, 2020

Benton Harbor, MI

How He Fell

She Cared For Me From The Other Side Of The World

I will be the first one to admit, I really didn't start our relationship out on the best note. I was just about to leave for my study abroad and we caught each other in passing right before I left. We were still friends at this point, but each of us had a little crush on each other. I made the mistake of telling her she was like a sister to me, ignoring my little crush on her as I was just about leave for 4 months. I figured it didn't really matter because I wouldn't see her for a long time and we never really intended on keeping in touch while I was abroad. Unbeknownst to me, she was about to share her feelings for me right before I told her she felt like a sister to me... Why did I say that? Not really sure, all I knew was I cared about her a lot but didn't really want to mention my crush at the time. Safe to say I still regret saying that 3 years later. Fast forward to my spring break trip to Moscow and St. Petersburg. We had been talking daily during my time abroad getting to know each other a lot better. The 2nd day in Moscow I discovered I would need an emergency appendectomy that night. I began calling and texting friends and family the news, Tabitha included. Keep in mind, I was 7-8 hours ahead of most people back home, so I didn't hear back from most of them as they were still asleep when I sent them the news. I went under later that night for the surgery and woke up the next day to multiple messages from people. However, one message stuck out from the rest. The message I got from Tabitha made me pretty much tear up seeing how worried she was about me. She did everything she could from the other side of the world to show how much she cared about me. The message from her finally opened my eyes about her, and made me realize how much I really needed her to stick around in my life.

How She Fell

He annoyed me into loving him

It started with four little whispered words; "We're in a library!" That was the day that Ben felt the need to gloat about the NHL standings while we were sitting at a table in the library at Cornerstone before our class. I have never simultaneously wanted to slap someone and kiss someone before in my life until that moment. It suddenly hit me how cute he was and how much I loved the annoying smirk that was spreading across his face. I had a crush on him. About a month later, Ben left for Lithuania. We talked every day while he was gone. I didn't even realize that I was catching actual feelings for him until spring break came. While Ben was in Russia he had to have an emergency appendectomy. His phone died while he was in surgery and I didn't hear from him for almost a full 24 hours. I was scared that I was going to lose one of my best friends. I knew then that I wanted to be with him. I just didn't know if he wanted to be with me. I had this idea in my head that Ben didn't share my feelings because of a comment he had made before he left about me being like a sister to him. I started seeing someone else; trying to move on. One day, I asked Ben what he thought of the guy. I remember exactly what he said. He said, "He's just not the kind of guy I see you ending up with." When I asked him what he meant he said, "I just see you with someone who is really sarcastic but also caring." I spent the next several days trying to figure out if he was talking about himself or not. It was so irritating. By the end of his time abroad I was single again. I had decided that, even if he didn't feel the same way that I did, I had to tell him. So, a week after he got home, I made the first move.

He Did it on One Knee

03.05.2019

I bought the ring back in November, but was planning on proposing in the spring at some point before her graduation. For months I was thinking of a way I could propose that wouldn't make her suspicious of the impending proposal. Tabitha had recently mentioned she wanted to do some sort of photo-shoot because we didn't have any nice pictures together, so I thought I would ask my friend Tylee, who's a photographer. I was picking Tylee up from the airport one day and began talking to her about the photo-shoot. She knew that I had the ring and then suggested the idea of proposing during the photo-shoot. It would be a surprise to Tabitha as she was the one that initially wanted the pictures, and Tylee would already be there to capture the moment! So we eventually landed on the Grand Rapids Downtown Market greenhouse as a location and Tylee and I scoped it out the day before to prepare. We settled on the spot I would do it and how I would hide the ring. The day came for the pictures and proposal and we started with just some basic pictures to keep things feeling casual. Meanwhile, every minute that passed my heart was racing thinking about what was to come! Tylee eventually led us to "the spot" we had picked out previously and then asked me to go grab her speaker from the other room as she got set with the lighting. When grabbing the speaker, I also grabbed the ring out of my coat pocket as I left it behind purposefully to keep it hidden until I got down on one knee. I went back over by Tabitha and was trying to stop myself from nervously stalling anymore than I already had. I hugged her and told her how much she meant to me and how much I loved her. She immediately knew what was going on then and I got down on one knee while she was crying. To no one's surprise, she said yes! That was the happiest moment of my entire life, and can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with her.

She Said Yes

03.05.2019

Around Valentine’s Day I told Ben that I wished we had more good pictures of us. We had been dating for over a year and a half and had approximately one cute picture and my face wasn’t even in it. About a week or so later, he picked up a friend, Tylee, from the airport and she said that she would be willing to take some photos for us. A couple of days before the shoot I was having a little bit of trouble choosing what to wear. I sent Ben some options and let him pick his favorite. Little did I know, he was choosing the outfit I would get engaged in. We met Tylee at Downtown Market up in the greenhouses on March 5. We started in the smaller room and we were having a lot of fun. When Tylee decided to move us over to the bigger room. She placed me where she wanted me and used me to check the lighting while Ben went to get the speaker that she “forgot” in the other room. When he came back, he was acting different. He got really serious and quiet. I asked him if he was okay. He hugged me, and I could feel his heart pounding. I remember thinking, “Oh my gosh! This is really happening!” The next thing I knew, Ben was down on one knee in front of me. I started crying and couldn’t even get the word out properly. Of course, I said yes! I actually forgot that Tylee was there taking pictures until she came up to hug us.

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