While slightly inebriated at 2am in March of 2016, my friend urged me to download Tinder to "try it out." From what I had heard, Tinder was a dark place, full of disappointment and d****bags. But, as it was 2am, and I was inebriated, I thought, "Why the heck not?" I downloaded it and was met with nothing I can describe other than... despair. Shirtless man after shirtless man, holding up confederate flags, dead fish, dead deer, dead animals not-other-wise identifiable, empty beer cans, beer pong trophies, American flags, guns, more-dead-and-unidentifiable-objects...I was hopeless. I believed that all good things went to die on Tinder. With one final swipe, I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath before I opened them, cautious of what I was about to see. I opened my eyes, one by one, and was met with sparkling, glorious blue light, radiating strongly from my phone screen. I squinted to make out the name..."Joel McGuire"... He was... beautiful. And he wasn't holding anything dead. And he was charming in a really weird way. He seemed eccentric. And interesting. And he knew how to read! I was so flustered that I pressed the big blue star button on the upper right hand side of the screen. I had no idea what this button did, but I pressed it so hard part of my screen shattered. My friend looked at me with a jaw dropped and said frantically, "THAT'S THE 'SUPER-LIKE' BUTTON!!! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO PRESS THAT!!! IT COMES OFF AS DES-PER-ATE!!!!!!! IT TELLS THEM THAT YOU EXPLICITLY LIKE THEM!!!" I didn't care. If it was meant to be, so be it. I sent him a message about Andrew Bird (who I saw he had recently listened to on his Spotify). He replied. He said he was home for spring break to visit his parents in Edmond, but that he went to school in Texas. And that if we wanted to meet, we should do so soon before he went back to school. We arranged to meet on Saint Patrick's day, on Main Street in downtown Norman. We've been in love ever since.