What to Know

Question

Dress Code

Answer

The dress code for any Jewish wedding depends on the couple’s preferences and the norms of the community. Our wedding is cocktail attire. Most men will typically wear dark colored suits with ties, and women usually opt for formal dresses that fall near the knees and cover the shoulders. Ultimately though, we want all our guests to wear whatever makes them the most comfortable.

Question

Kabbalat Panim

Answer

Kabbalat panim is the initial pre-wedding greeting of guests and cocktail hour. Guests usually arrive sometime during the kabbalat panim and before the chuppah, and the bride and groom traditionally spend this time separately. The men gather at the tisch where the groom is surrounded by his father, father-in-law, brothers, and other guests who sing and toast him. During this time, the ketubah (the Jewish marriage contract) is signed by two appointed witnesses. The ketubah is a document instituted by the rabbis in ancient times that details the obligations of a husband to his wife. The signing of the ketubah expresses the idea that a declaration of love must be accompanied by both legal and moral commitments. At the tisch, the tena'im will also be signed, confirming the commitment of the parents of the couple to the marriage of their children. Following the signing of the tena'im, the bride and groom's mothers will break a plate to emphasize the binding nature of the agreement. At the same time, the bride is seated in a room surrounded by her family and friends and guests who greet her.

Question

Bedekin

Answer

The bedekin is a short ritual that links the kabbalat panim to the chuppah ceremony. The groom’s family and friends dance with him from the tisch to the bride's room, where she is surrounded by her family and friends. The groom greets the bride and places the veil over her face while sharing a few words. After the bedekin, the guests make their way to the chuppah for the primary wedding ceremony.

Question

Chuppah

Answer

The main ceremony takes place under a chuppah (canopy), which represents the home that the bride and groom will create together. Oftentimes, men and women will sit separately for the ceremony. During the chuppah, the groom will don a white kittel, a ritualistic Jewish garment traditionally worn on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year. The ceremony begins with the custom of the bride circling the groom seven times symbolizing the creation of a new home unit and the seven days of creation. The first part of the ceremony is kiddushin (the formal betrothal). The rabbi presiding over the ceremony recites the engagement blessings over a cup of wine. During the kiddushin process, the groom places the wedding band on the bride's finger, in the presence of witnesses. The kiddushin is followed by a public reading of the ketubah (marriage contract) that was signed during the tisch. Following the reading of the ketubah, the second part of the ceremony, nissuin (nuptials) commences. The new couple is then blessed seven times (sheva brachot) by close family and friends. The blessings thank God for the creation of the universe, humankind and the sanctity and love of marriage. They express hope for happiness, love and peace for the married couple. The ceremony concludes with the breaking of the glass, in remembrance of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem 2000 years ago. The Temple was destroyed due to baseless hatred and social injustice. Even in our times of the greatest joy, we remember the imperfect world we live in and remind ourselves of our duty to improve it. It also solidifies the couple with the spiritual and national destiny of the Jewish people.

Question

Yichud

Answer

Immediately after the ceremony, the couple retreats to a private room to spend the first moments of marriage alone together. The new couple is usually led to the yichud room from the chuppah with joyous song and dance by their guests.

Question

Reception

Answer

The wedding ceremony is followed by a seudat mitzvah (wedding feast) and dancing. The first dance set will be traditional Jewish dancing during which the men and women will dance separated by a partition. During the second dance set, the partition will be removed. It is a mitzvah (good deed) to bring joy to a couple on their wedding day. The best way to bring us joy is to have fun! We are so excited to be celebrating this day with you. -K&S