6:00 pm - 11:00 pm
Black Tie Optional
6:00 pm
Two cups of wine are used in the wedding ceremony. The first cup accompanies the betrothal blessings, recited by the rabbi. After these are recited, the couple drinks from the cup. Wine, a symbol of joy in Jewish tradition, is associated with Kiddush, the sanctification prayer recited on Shabbos and festivals. Marriage, called Kiddushin, is the sanctification of a man and woman to each other.
6:00 pm
A glass is now placed on the floor, and the groom shatters it with his foot. This serves as an expression of sadness at the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, and identifies the couple with the spiritual and national destiny of the Jewish people. Even on the happiest day of a Jewish person's life, he/she recognizes the collective loss of our people in the destruction of the Temple; a physical destruction which also represents a further spiritual disconnection from Hashem (G-d). In jest, some explain that this is the last time the groom gets to "put his foot down." Another idea is that this is the only thing that should go wrong at the wedding - everything from that point on should go smoothly. This marks the conclusion of the ceremony. With shouts of "Mazal Tov!" the chattan and kallah are then given an enthusiastic reception from the guests as they leave the chuppah together.
6:00 pm
In Jewish law, a marriage becomes official when the chosson gives an object of value to the kallah. This is traditionally done with a ring. The ring should be made of plain gold, without blemishes or ornamentation (e.g. stones) just as it is hoped that the marriage will be one of simple beauty. The chosson now takes the wedding ring in his hand, and in clear view of two witnesses, declares to the kallah, "Behold, you are betrothed unto me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel" He then places the ring on the forefinger of the bride's right hand. According to Jewish law, this is the central moment of the wedding ceremony, and at this point the couple is considered fully married.
6:00 pm
It is customary for the chattan (groom) and kallah (wife) not to see each other for one week preceding the wedding. This increases the anticipation and excitement of the event. Therefore, prior to the wedding ceremony, the chattan and kallah greet guests separately. This is called "Kabbalat Panim." Jewish tradition likens the couple to a queen and king. The kallah will be seated on a "throne" to receive her guests, while the chattan is surrounded by guests who sing and toast him. At this time there is an Ashkenazi tradition for the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom to stand together and break a plate. The reason is to show the seriousness of the commitment; just as a plate can never be fully repaired, so too a broken relationship can never be fully repaired.
6:00 pm
The wedding ceremony takes place under the chuppah (canopy), a symbol of the home that the new couple will build together. It is open on all sides, just as Abraham and Sarah had their tent open all sides to welcome people in unconditional hospitality. The Ashkenazi custom is that the chosson and kallah wear no jewelry under the chuppah (marriage canopy). Their mutual commitment is based on who they are as people, not on any material possessions. The kallah follows the chattan, and both are usually escorted to the chuppah by their respective sets of parents. canopy). Under the chuppah, the Ashkenazi custom is that the kallah circles the chattan seven times. Just as the world was built in seven days, the kallah is figuratively building the walls of the couple's new world together. The number seven also symbolizes the wholeness and completeness that they cannot attain separately. The kallah then settles at the chosson's right-hand side.
6:00 pm
Next comes the bedeken, the veiling of the kallah by the chattan. This part is certainly a highlight and gets the wedding off to an exciting start. After not seeing each other for a full week, the groom is escorted to his bride with singing and music. He then veils her, signaling his commitment to clothe and protect his wife. The veil symbolizes the idea of modesty and conveys the lesson that however attractive physical appearances may be, the soul and character are the most important, as they are the source for real and meaningful relationships and connection. This tradition is also reminiscent of Rebecca covering her face before marrying Isaac (Genesis ch. 29).
6:00 pm
The Seven Blessings (Sheva Brachot) are now recited over the second cup of wine. The theme of these blessings links the chattan and kallah to our faith in God as Creator of the world, Bestower of joy and love, and the ultimate Redeemer of our people. These blessings are recited by the rabbi or other people that the families wish to honor. At the conclusion of the seven blessings, the chattan and kallah again drink some of the wine.
6:00 pm
Now comes the reading of the ketubah (marriage contract) in the original Aramaic text. The ketubah outlines the chosson's various responsibilities to provide his wife with food, shelter and clothing, and to be attentive to her emotional needs. Protecting the rights of a Jewish wife is so important that the marriage is not official until the contract has been completed. The document is signed by two witnesses, and has the standing of a legally binding agreement. The ketubah is the property of the kallah and she must have access to it throughout their marriage. It is often written amidst beautiful artwork, to be framed and displayed in the home. The reading of the ketubah acts as a break between the first part of the ceremony Kiddushin ("betrothal"), and the latter part Nissuin ("marriage").
6:00 pm
The couple is then escorted to a private "yichud room" and left alone for a few minutes. These moments of seclusion signify their new status of living together as husband and wife. When they emerge, they join their guests for a festive meal, dancing, and joyous celebration.