PRE-WEDDING RECEPTION
The Jewish wedding traditionally begins with a "kabbalat panim"—reception—in honor of the bride and groom. Our sages tell us that on their wedding day, the groom is like a king and the bride is like a queen. Special powers are granted to them from On High and they are empowered to chart a new future for themselves and bestow blessing to friends and family. Two separate receptions are held, one for the bride and another for the groom. Traditionally, the bride and groom do not see each other before the wedding, so as to increase their yearning for each other leading up to the wedding. They will meet again only at the veiling ceremony that follows the reception.
VEILING CEREMONY
After the kabbalat panim comes the bedeken, the veiling ceremony. A procession headed by the groom goes to the bridal reception room, where the groom covers the bride's face with a veil. The custom of covering the bride's face with a veil originated with our matriarch Rebecca, who covered her face when meeting her groom, Isaac. The veil emphasizes that the groom is not solely interested in the bride's external beauty, which fades with time, but rather in her inner beauty which she will never lose. After the groom veils the bride, the parents of the bride and groom approach the bride and bless her. The groom's entourage then retreats from the room. The bride and groom proceed with their chupah preparations and everyone else continues to the site of the ceremony.
THE MARRIAGE CANOPY
The chupah is a canopy which sits atop four poles and is open on all sides. This is a demonstration of the couple's commitment to establish a home which will always be open to guests, as was the tent of Abraham and Sarah. It is customary for the groom to wear a kittel, a long white frock, during the chupah. The pristine white kittel, traditionally worn on Yom Kippur, and the bride's white gown, are symbols of G‑d's atonement and perfect purity. Indeed, the Divine Presence graces every chupah ceremony. Also present are the deceased grandparents and great-grandparents of the bride and groom, who descend from their heavenly abode to join the wedding celebration.
BETROTHAL AND MARRIAGE
The groom is led to the chupah first, where he awaits the arrival of his bride. She circles the groom several times upon arriving at the chupah creating an invisible wall around her husband into which she will step to the exclusion of all others. According to Torah law, marriage is a two-step process. The first stage is called kiddushin, ("betrothal"), and the second, nisu'in, the finalization of the nuptials. Kiddushin and nisu'in occur successively beneath the chupah. The rabbi holds a cup of wine and recites the blessing over the wine and the betrothal blessing. The groom then places the wedding band on the bride's right index finger and recites "with this ring, you are consecrated to me according to the law of Moses and Israel." In Kabbalah, the right index is connected to the heart.
THE MARRIAGE CONTRACT
After the groom places the ring on the bride's finger the ketubah, marriage contract, is read aloud. The ketubah shows that marriage is more than a physical and spiritual union; it is a legal and moral commitment as well. The ketubah details the husband's principal obligations to his wife to provide her with sustenance and affection, along with other contractual obligations. After the ketubah is read, it is handed to the groom who gives it to the bride.
MAZAL TOV!
The final stage of the marriage ceremony, the nisu'in, is effected by the chupah and the recitation of Sheva Brachot—the "Seven Benedictions." It is customary to honor friends and relatives with the recitation of these blessings. The honorees approach and stand beneath the chupah, where they recite the blessing over the wine. At this point the souls of the groom and the bride reunite to become one soul, as they were before they entered this world. A glass is then placed beneath the foot of the groom. The groom stomps and shatters the glass. The shattering of the glass reminds us that even at the height of personal joy, we must, nevertheless, remember the destruction of Jerusalem, and yearn for our imminent return there. As the glass shatters, everyone traditionally shouts: "Mazal Tov!"
AFTER THE CEREMONY
Immediately after the chupah, the bride and groom adjourn to the yichud (seclusion) room, where they spend a few minutes alone. After all the public pomp and ceremony, it is time for the bride and groom to share some private moments; the purpose of the entire ceremony! Even while surrounded by a crowd clamoring to shower them with love and attention, they must take a few moments to be there for each other. This is an important lesson for marriage—the couple should never allow the hustle and bustle of life to completely engulf them; they must always find private time for each other. Then, it's time to party!!!