Bridezilla
The brains of this entire operation. As if you didn’t know this already from all the sarcasm in this entire website. Yea finally doing this and I know - who wants to get married in this economy?! This tax break better be worth it.
Trial Husband #1
Keeping Sandra calm and from jumping off cliffs. That’s probably why he’s lasted this long and hasn’t been traded in for a younger model…yet. Still time to find Sandra a sugar daddy and husband number 2.
Ring Bearer
Lennie has graduated from her flower girl duties to being responsible enough to hold literal jewels. Jokes on her - these rings are cheap. She’s most excited about getting a pretty dress and some fancy shoes and could really care less what her parents are doing especially if there’s a screen nearby.
Flower Girl
Olive wants to do everything so if she asks, just say yes unless you want to see her erupt into a tantrum. This might happen anyways. She’s already cute and adorable so wait until you see her all dolled up. She is also whatever about this all and has sick babies to take care of at home, but is excited to eat cake at some point.