Sami and Kevin (better known as "Sami's fiancé") met the first day of college, where fate had paired them on the same floor of their dorm. Fate also paired Sami with 36 male floor-mates and only 5 female floor-mates. After surveying the options, Sami decided to choose a boyfriend based solely on how similar their last names were, so she ended up with Kevin. Through a series of arcane rituals known as "thoughtful compliments" and "undying love and attention," Kevin managed to prevent Sami from wising up throughout college.

After college, Sami and her now-fiancé (Kevin) moved to Chicago and San Francisco respectively. "How hard can a long distance relationship really be?" they didn't think to themselves. After 12 grueling months, many trips to visit each other, over 15000 hours logged on FaceTime, and 3.7 billion iMessages sent, Sami manifested her destiny and moved out to California.

4 years flew by as they poured blood, sweat, and beers into their relationship. Finally, on an extremely hot autumn day in Monterey, with waves lapping against the beach, the blue sky unperturbed by even a single cloud, birds chirping, children playing, otters swimming, photographers innocuously pretending they were strangers, Kevin spoke the four words that had been trying to blurt themselves out for hours: pass me the salami. After enjoying a nice picnic on the beach, Kevin proposed to Sami with an amazing handcrafted puzzle, and she said yes!

Sami and Kevin began preparing for their special day with a poorly adhered to schedule of diet and exercise. Unfortunately those months of suffering were for nought, as the wedding was postponed. However, they tried to make the best of the situation. As the saying goes: when life forces you to spend the next year inside alone, get a golden retriever. And thus Elphaba aka Elphie aka the Wicked Witch of the West (coast) was introduced into their lives. The remainder of the 2020 was spent staring at and petting the dog. In February Sami and Kevin celebrated their 10th anniversary, and were annoyed that they weren't married yet. They now spend their time dieting and exercising, eagerly awaiting August 1st, 2021.