*READ WITH SARCASM* Local Piano Bar: The smell of well vodka and pheromones make this story quite a bit fuzzy. [Slightly] above the crowd, eye contact was made when a flailing Ryan, with the assistance of elevated surfaces, bewitched Sam's attention. Ryan then strategically utilized both his wittiness, and superb resourcefulness to recruit a nearby female acquaintance to facilitate the introduction. Fast-forward through multiple venues, an even greater number of off-rhythm dance moves, and a carb-filled taco truck dessert, the Ryan and Sam saga began. The subsequent week was packed with excitement; a towed car, competitive bar games, and a rodeo just to list a few. This action-packed week set the tone for the remainder of our [nearly] 3 year relationship. While the amount of activities has not quite been consistent (thanks COVID!), the precedent of smiles and laughs has been upheld throughout the duration of our companionship. Despite our best efforts, we have both been unsuccessful in running the other one off, therefore leading us into our current predicament. The end.