Frequently Asked Questions

Question

What is marriage as a sacrament in the Catholic Church?

Answer

The Sacrament of Matrimony in the Catholic Church consists of 4 elements that are drawn from the 3 questions the bride and groom are asked before exchanging vows. There are two requirements for a marriage to be a sacramental marriage: (1) the marriage must be valid through the 4 elements of marriage being met in the questions answered and vows exchanged; and (2) both bride and groom must be baptized. The three questions are: Have you come here to enter Marriage without coercion; freely and wholeheartedly? Are you prepared, as you follow the path of Marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live? Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and His Church? Immediately after these questions, the bride and groom turn toward each other and exchange their vows, which typically use the following words: “I, N., take you, N., to be my wife/husband. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.” Captured in these three questions before consent and in the vows themselves, the Church draws out four elements that define Christian marriage. The four elements are free, total, faithful, and fruitful. These four qualities “define” for us what Christian marriage is meant to be - they are what the bride and groom promise to one another before God and His Church. These four qualities are what the married couple strives to live out each day for the rest of their lives. For a more in-depth view of the sacrament, read here: https://mycatholic.life/the-my-catholic-life-series/my-catholic-worship/chapter-9-the-sacrament-of-matrimony/

Question

What do Catholics believe about marriage?

Answer

“Marriage is not a purely human institution” (CCC 1603) As Catholics, we believe that “God Himself is the author of matrimony” (Gaudium et spes). Marriage is a sacred bond, not just a legal contract. During His time on earth, Jesus Christ upgraded marriage into a genuine sacrament. This means that marriage between two baptized Christians is an “efficacious sign of grace” by which “divine life is dispensed” to the spouses (CCC 1131). “Till death do us part” For Catholics, marriage is an extremely serious commitment. The Catholic Church teaches that a consummated, sacramental marriage only ends when one of the spouses dies. “The Church does not have the power” to end the marriage any earlier (CCC 1640). Even if spouses were to get a civil divorce, the sacred marriage bond would remain. As Jesus put it, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:11-12) “The two shall become one flesh” The Catholic Church teaches that sex is “noble and honorable” (CCC 2362). However, all Catholics, married and unmarried, must practice the virtue of chastity. In this context, chastity means refusing to overindulge one’s appetite for sex. (Similarly, it’s good to refuse to overindulge one’s appetite for food!) The Catholic Church teaches that chastity comes in different forms. For unmarried people, chastity requires refraining from sex altogether. Within marriage, chaste sex is good and possible. Sex “achieves the twofold end of marriage: the good of the spouses themselves and the transmission of life” (CCC 2363). Spouses are right to seek out and enjoy the “pleasure and happiness of body and spirit” that come with sex (Pope Pius XII, allocution to midwives, 10/29/1951).

Question

What should I expect during a catholic wedding Mass?

Answer

Our wedding Mass, more formally known as the nuptial Mass, will be a full liturgy similar to the sunday Mass. It will include both the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist (Holy Communion), with the celebration of matrimony in between. Irving and Ryleigh have both had the privilege of planning the entire mass, choosing everything from the music that will be played/sung to the Old and New Testament readings and Gospel, as well as the blessings and prayers. A lot of thought and prayerful discernment has been put into each selection to most perfectly reflect the love of God for us and His Church, as well as a reflection of the joining of two lives into one life in Christ through the Sacrament of Matrimony. There will be ushers to greet you and provide you with a Mass program when walking in through the main entrance of the church. The Mass program will explain all the parts of the mass and give instructions on what to do and when, so everyone will be able to follow along and celebrate with us fully!

Question

Who can receive Holy Communion during the wedding Mass?

Answer

As per canon law of the Catholic Church, only baptized Catholics who have received their First Communion, are not aware of having committed any mortal sins since their last confession, believe in the doctrine of transubstantiation, and have fasted for at least 1 hour may partake in the Holy Eucharist. Why can't everyone receive? As Catholics, we know that the Eucharist is the very Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus Christ. We know that the Real Presence of Christ effected in this sacrament does not cease once the celebration of the Mass is finished. This is why we worship the Eucharist, “genuflecting or bowing deeply as a sign of adoration of the Lord” (CCC, 1378). When a Catholic says, “Amen” to “The Body of Christ” or “The Blood of Christ,” he or she acknowledges the Eucharist to be the very Body and Blood of Christ, and not a mere symbol. At the same time, a Catholic acknowledges and accepts the teachings of the Church and maintains communion—unity—with the Church. This is a claim that a non-Catholic cannot honestly make, nor can a Catholic who is not in good standing. For a more thorough understanding of exactly what Catholics believe about the Eucharist and who may receive, please read through this explanation: https://www.catholic.com/tract/who-can-receive-communion Alternatively, our fellow Christians and Non-Christians may come up to the altar with their arms crossed over their chest to receive a blessing from the priest, if desired. If you will not be receiving Holy Communion or a blessing, please remain kneeling until everyone has finished receiving and express in your heart a prayerful desire for unity with our Lord Jesus and with one another. For more information, a read through the Guidelines for the Reception of Communion from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops is also encouraged: https://www.usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/the-mass/order-of-mass/liturgy-of-the-eucharist/guidelines-for-the-reception-of-communion

Question

Will there be confession and/or Eucharistic Adoration before the wedding Mass?

Answer

Yes, there will be confession starting one hour before the beginning of Mass. All are welcome to partake in the Sacrament of Reconciliation anytime between 12PM - 1PM. Unfortunately, Eucharistic Adoration will not be available.

Question

What should I wear?

Answer

Out of respect for the Most Blessed Sacrament, we kindly ask all guests to dress their best, yet mindfully and modestly. As we are celebrating a springtime/Easter season wedding, light and happy colors are encouraged and on theme, but not mandatory. Gentleman, please refrain from wearing shorts and casual/recreational clothing. For girls and women, please refrain from wearing plunging necklines, high slits, short skirts/shorts, sleeveless, low cut and sheer clothing as they do not meet the norm of Christian modesty. It is both Sacred Tradition and Sacred Scripture for ladies to cover their heads with either a veil, scarf, or pretty hat during Mass to show reverence and submission to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ when in His presence in the Eucharist. This is optional, but highly encouraged! To learn more about the theological basis for women’s headcovering, please read here: https://bible.usccb.org/bible/1corinthians/11 Per the request of St. Mark's Roman Catholic Church, please do not wear scented products inside the parish (such as perfume/cologne, aftershave, etc.) Thank you for your understanding!

Question

When should I RSVP by? What if I can't make it?

Answer

We're asking all guests to RSVP by our deadline of March 28th, 2025 - 2 months before the wedding. The extra lead time will help us in getting the last details of our wedding worked out without the stress of being last minute. If you are unable to make it, you will be dearly missed! Please RSVP "no" and return it to us as soon as possible.

Question

What time should I arrive at the ceremony and reception?

Answer

Help us keep our big day on schedule! The wedding Mass will promptly begin at 1:00PM. We kindly ask all guests to arrive no later than 12:30PM to ensure everyone is seated on time with clear minds, ready to participate in the liturgy and celebrate our joining of hands in the Sacrament of Matrimony. If you would like to partake in the Sacrament of Reconciliation prior to the Mass, please arrive closer to 12:00PM. The wedding Mass should conclude around 2:30PM. While the wedding party and immediate family will stay behind to take photos, we invite all guests to make their way over to Victoria Ranch for cocktail hour at 4:00PM.

Question

Is there parking for the ceremony or reception?

Answer

Of course! Parking for the ceremony is easy, it will be in the lot of St. Mark's Roman Catholic Church. Parking for the reception venue is a little more tricky. Please be aware that Victoria Ranch is located on the top of a mountain, so please take caution when driving up and down. There will be someone directing parking when you reach the top of the mountain, please listen to their instructions. Victoria Ranch driving directions: https://portal.tripleseat.com/public_profile/comments/258645269/file?asset_id=91079944&t=2v6390cm0a1o6eqoqfjy

Question

Will there be Uber vouchers available?

Answer

Yes! We will be providing $30 Uber vouchers for our guests who wish to use them. We highly recommend carpooling with other guests or using one of the Uber vouchers to arrive and depart if you plan on drinking with us at the reception. The Uber vouchers can be accessed through this link: https://r.uber.com/rbmjwBs5wwR

Question

Will the ceremony and reception be indoors or outdoors? What will the weather be like?

Answer

The ceremony will be an indoor nuptial Mass at St. Mark's Roman Catholic Church, followed by an outdoor cocktail hour and reception at Victoria Ranch, with an indoor cabin and balcony for guests to retreat to. Please note that the terrain at Victoria Ranch is sandy and rocky. Flat, closed toed shoes are recommended. The weather in Vista, California during May is typically quite comfortable, mildly cool with little chance of rain. The average daily high is 73 with an average low of 54. Please keep in mind that it may be particularly cool and breezy being on the mountaintop. We encourage guests to bring a nice, warm coat, especially for when the sun goes down.

Question

How long does it take to travel from the ceremony to the reception?

Answer

It takes about 30 minutes to arrive at Victoria Ranch when traveling from St. Mark's. There should be plenty of time between the end of the mass (a little after 2pm) and the beginning of cocktail hour (4pm) to get there, but keep in mind there may be traffic!

Question

Are kids welcome?

Answer

Absolutely! If your child's name is listed on the invitation you received, they're invited! Please return the RSVP to let us know whether they'll be joining us or not. If your child's name is not listed on the invitation you received, please contact us to let us know. That way we can ensure they will have a meal and seating! Things for parents to keep in mind: We request that all parents with little ones be seated in the cry room during the wedding Mass. Please help us maintain Sacred Silence during the Liturgy and keep distractions for others in prayer at a minimum. The reception will be held on the top of a steep mountain and the space is not fully fenced in. This could pose a danger to children. There will not be a kid's table, all children will be seated next to their parents. Parents are responsible for ensuring the safety of their children and that they are well behaved during both the ceremony and reception.

Question

Can I bring a date?

Answer

If your invitation specifically lists a plus one by name, then yes! If your invitation doesn't mention a plus one, we kindly ask that you come as you are. While we would love to be able to host extra guests, the reception venue is small and only prepared for a set amount of people. Anyone outside that list would not be taken into account when providing seating and food.

Question

Can I bring a gift to the wedding?

Answer

We love that you want to gift us something and we appreciate your generosity! Since we will be traveling by plane to attend our honeymoon and then heading back home to Florida, we will be unable to take any gifts with us. Similarly, since we and all our Floridian friends & family will be in California during the week of the wedding, we will unable to ensure the safety of any physical gifts sent to our home through the registry. For this reason, we are only requesting monetary gifts through the registry located on the website, which are given digitally. Thank you for your understanding!

Question

Will I be able to take home any of the centerpieces?

Answer

Yes, please! We specifically chose potted plants for our table centerpieces with the intention of our guests being able to take home a beautiful reminder of our wedding day. We hope you love your new plant! As for the mini chickens and Easter eggs scattered throughout the greenery runners, we ask that those be left in place.

Question

How do I plant my save the date and invitation?

Answer

We’re so glad you would like to plant your plantable save the date/invite! These seeded papers will grow wildflowers to help local ecosystems and pollinators. We hope you love your flowers, may they remind you of us and the gift of marriage! Planting instructions are located at the bottom of the save the date/invite. The envelope is also seeded paper, and the beeswax seal is natural and harmless to the environment. Please remove any stamps before planting. For more thorough planting instructions, troubleshooting and more info on seed paper, please visit: https://botanicalpaperworks.com/blog/seed-paper-planting-instructions/?srsltid=AfmBOoqV4mrSAKmDbgCsNQdGicnhPBsLpTrsKbc19jOWBO_txfUVqJbO

Question

I have a food allergy and/or dietary restrictions, can I make a special request?

Answer

We are happy to accommodate! Please let us know of any food allergies or dietary restrictions through your RSVP card and we will make sure you are taken care of!

Question

I would like to be a sponsor - who should I contact?

Answer

We are so happy you would like to be a sponsor! The best person to contact for sponsor info would be Irving. Phone number: (760) 908-0792 Email: irving@ryleighandirving.us

Question

I still have questions - what's the best way to contact you?

Answer

The best way to contact us for all questions unrelated to becoming a sponsor is through our wedding email. Email: wedding@ryleighandirving.us