Bride
The Main Event. The True Situation. Make Way. The Queen has Arrived!
Groom
The queens royal butler.
Matron of Honor
All around great checkers player, and skilled hopscotch extraordinaire. Wide range of old New England Bridge Knowledge.
Best Man
Fire fighter, and head of janitorial services at your local walmart. All around skilled Angler. Keep hands 6 inches away from his mouth.
Bridesmaid
Give at least 10 feet of space, don't let her small size fool you, this bitch loud.
Groomsman
Impressive man about town. Mr. Fix-it/ Santa's head supervisory workshop elf can put together any and all tables.
Bridesmaid
Has recently had all the planets re-named Mercury, therefore it's always in retrograde. We got you boo-boo.
Groomsman
Smelly British Guy, great at charming any individual. Quite useful in all situations pertaining to trickery due to British accent. Don't let him fool you.
Bridesmaid
Terrific dancer. Crochet extraordinaire. Continuously comes in second place or higher at all County Fair Stand Games. Impressive.
Groomsman
This little bugger gets into all sorts of hijinx. Don't wake him, you wont like him when he's sleepy.