Maid of Honor
In 2009 we were being emo teens for The Maine and playing Nancy Drew computer games, and in 2019 we're... being (older) emo teens for The Maine and playing Nancy Drew computer games. EB has seen the good, the bad, and the ugly; we bicker like WE'RE the ones getting married, so it's only fitting she'll be right by my side on the big day. Plus, that bitch is a TRIPLE VIRGO, so you know she'll be an insane MOH!
Best Man
We have been friends for a long time.
Bridesmaid
From Witte to our room with a wine/beer/cheese fridge to the Boston Donut Marathon, Helen is always there with a laugh and usually a glass of champagne in hand! Everyone should be so lucky as to have a Classic Helen on their team.
Groomsman
He once threw a TV off a balcony.
Bridesmaid
I'm still holding out for when Amy and I take our stand-up routines on the road, because when we're on, we're on!!! At sleepovers, Amy never made it past the opening credits before passing out, let's hope she can stay awake for the wedding!
Groomsman
Mustard Man.
Bridesmaid
We just introduce ourselves as Liz Squared (Liz2) now because it's easier!! Liz2 has been on two continents together, and I will forever be grateful for the time we met up in Dublin and spent the night in with wine, chocolate cake, and Law & Order SVU.
Groomsman
Brother.
Bridesmaid
My Butt! Thank you for singing us to sleep in Witte, for all that you have taught me and all of the snuggles in our nest. I praise Bob Ross for bringing us together!
Groomsman
Man with giant beard. And guns. Lots of guns.
Bridesmaid
Abbey is always there offering a helping hand, a snack, or a hug, and honestly, what else could you ever need? No matter where we live, I know Abbey's always got my back.
Groomsman/Officiant
He uses the name Toler which is not something he came up with. Ryan and Kody did after they stole his clothes and climbed a tree.