Our relationship started with three words. More like three letters: T, B, H. This trend was spread all over Facebook as a way to tell people how you felt about them in a pretty superficial and relatively dishonest practice. When Josh liked my thousandth tbh status, I didn’t really know him at all. I knew he was really cute and that was enough for me to start a conversation though, right? We quickly started texting after my cringe-worthy post on his wall roped him in, and I was smitten. I joked countless times about him having such a way with words, always making me feel like the only girl in the world. It was almost like he had some sort of sweet talk encyclopedia you consulted when talking to me. 21-year-old Erin squirms at the giggly way we chatted with one another; but thinking back to my 13-year-old self, I could remember how absolutely ecstatic I was to have him say those words to me. Even as a young girl, I distinctly remember thinking, I will never know another love like this one.

It’s wedding weekend! Well, not ours (yet). Jennifer was getting hitched to her high school sweetheart, Tanner. We’re preparing for Saturday’s festivities: rehearsal dinner, hair and makeup, bridal party pictures, and all the jitters that come along with even being in the wedding, much less being the couple getting married. I would later find out that Josh was extraordinarily nervous that day. He hadn’t eaten all day and couldn’t even touch his food at the reception. There was a transition into the reception traditions: father/bride dance, mother/groom dance, cutting the ivory cake, but my favorite was tossing the bouquet. I was so happy for Jennifer and Tanner; all of our families in one big room celebrating their love and I was on a high. All the ladies in the room crowded behind Jennifer for their chance to catch a sacred bundle of flowers. Instead, Jennifer turns around and hands the bouquet to me. Confused and startled, she had to turn me around. Josh was on one knee with a little black box in hand. His eyes were glazed over like a doughnut, swelling with tears. With identical Krispy Kreme icing tears dripping down my face, he asked and I answered yes. In that moment, I was rushed back to 13-year-old Erin, thinking to myself, I will never know another love like this one.