It all began in a Walgreens parking lot in Kenosha, during a snowstorm in early 2023. Drew, a former marine biology teacher turned succulent artist, couldn’t quite explain what drew him to Russelina. Maybe it was the unpredictable lane changes. Maybe it was the way Russelina referred to himself as “the gift and the curse.” Or maybe it was how he once screamed at a Starbucks barista for not understanding the difference between “extra hot” and “molten.” Whatever it was, he was in — for better or for much, much louder. Their love was bi-coastal. Well... bi-state. Russelina would host lavish dinners in Brooksville — where flamingo lawn ornaments wore tiny scarves and guests weren’t allowed to speak during dessert. Then, he’d drive 19 hours straight back to Kenosha just to see if Drew “had missed him enough.” Spoiler: he always had. The proposal came unexpectedly, on the shoulder of I-75 after Russelina pulled over to yell at a motorcyclist who had “looked at him weird.” Drew, clutching a ring box that had melted slightly in the glove compartment, simply whispered, “If I survive one more road trip with you, I want it to be as your husband.” Russelina screamed, “YOU THINK I WON’T??” Then cried, hugged him, and screamed again because the hug “wasn't centered.” Now, they're getting married. The ceremony will feature: -A unity candle and a ceremonial horn honk -Custom Palisade cufflinks -A dramatic first dance to “Highway to Hell” followed by “At Last”