FAQs

Question

I've never been to a Christian ceremony, what should I expect?

Answer

When you arrive at the venue, you will be greeted and guided to your seat. These are the key elements of the wedding ceremony: Processional Bridal March Officiant Greeting Family Blessing Wedding Vows Message/Charge to the Bride and Groom Exchange of Rings Lighting of the Unity Candle Pronouncement Presentation of the Couple Recessional

Question

What is the processional?

Answer

The processional is the beginning of the wedding where all the members of the wedding party enter. It begins with the seating of honored guests which includes the parents of the bride and groom. It will also include other important family members that are not standing at the front. These family members are escorted down a center aisle and seated at the front. Next, the officiant and the groom enter from the right side of the altar. If the groomsman are not escorting the bridesmaids down the aisle, they will also enter. Then the bridesmaids will enter one by one down the center aisle and will stand on the left side of the altar opposite the groomsman. Next come the flower girl and ring bearer down the center aisle. The ring bearer carries a small pillow with the rings (or a symbol of the rings, the best man and maid of honor will often hold the actual rings for safe keeping). The flower girl drops flower petals down the center aisle to prepare for the entrance of the bride.

Question

What is the bridal march?

Answer

The bridal march comes directly after the processional and is the entrance of the bride into the ceremony. After the processional has completed, the mother of the bride will stand as a signal for all guests to stand. Sometimes the officiant will signal or say for all to rise for the bride. The bride enters down the center aisle, traditionally escorted by her father. In the case where the father has passed, the bride may be escorted by her brother, her mother, or another close family member. The bride can also chose to walk down the aisle unescorted. This is the first time the bride and groom are seeing each other on the wedding day as it is "bad luck" to see each before this time. The bride proceeds down the center aisle until she reaches the front and is standing in front of the groom.

Question

What is the officiant greeting?

Answer

Now that the entire wedding party has entered, the officiant will begin the ceremony. The bride and her escort remain in front of the officiant while he/she welcomes everybody to the ceremony. You may have seen in the movies the phrase "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...". This is the welcome and invitation to all those gathered to witness and participate in the wedding ceremony. This can often include an opening prayer that typically includes thanksgiving and a call for God's presence and blessing to be upon the service which is about to begin. At this point, the officiant tells the congregation that they can be seated.

Question

What is the family blessing?

Answer

This is the point of the ceremony often referred to as "giving away the bride". Traditonally, the officiant typically asks who gives this woman to be married to this man. The escort will respond on behalf of the family with something along the lines of "her mother/family and I". In more ceremonies, this is phrased as a request for the family's blessing of the marriage. As Allison's mom says, "I'm not giving my daughter away, I'm gaining a son". After the family responds, the escort will shake the hand of the groom and put the bride's hand in his. Then, the bride will typically hug the escort and then be seated with the rest of the family.

Question

What is the message/charge to the bride and groom?

Answer

At this point, the bride and groom are standing at the altar facing forward towards the officiant. The officiant will speak to the couple reminding them of their individual duties and roles in the marriage and prepares them for the vows they are about to make. This message usually includes references to the Biblical scriptures that guide the marriage covenant. This is sometimes referred to as a sermon, though it is typically shorter than a sermon is regular worship service.

Question

What are the wedding vows?

Answer

At this point, the bride and groom turn to face each other and join hands. The wedding vows are the central focus of the service. The Bride and Groom promise publicly, before God and the witnesses present, to love, honor and respect each other and to become what God has created them to be, despite all adversities, as long as they both shall live. The wedding vows are sacred and express the entrance into a covenant relationship. Traditional wedding vows are as follows: "I, _, take thee, _, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge myself to you." These vows can be offered as an affirmation as above or as a responsive where the officiant reads the vows and the bride/groom respond with "I do". Often couples will write their own vows in addition to/in place of the traditional vows.

Question

What is the exchange of the rings?

Answer

The wedding rings are a symbol of the marriage and the commitment that the couple is making to each other. The symbolism of a wedding ring is closely tied in with the symbolism of its shape—a circle. Throughout history, circles have been used as a metaphor for concepts of totality, wholeness, eternity, and timelessness. Circles have also been seen as symbols for God, both in Christian faiths as well as many other religions. Circles have no beginning and no end, and their symmetry has made them symbols for heaven and God's perfection. The ring represents eternity. By wearing the wedding bands throughout the couple's lifetime, they tell all others that they will love and remain devoted to one another throughout all of time. The bride/groom put the ring on the other's 4th finger (i.e.ring finger) of the left hand and traditionally say "with this ring, I thee wed". Though this statement is often modernized as well.

Question

What is the lighting of the unity candle?

Answer

The unity candle is symbolic of two lives (and families) joining together as one. Either at this point in the ceremony or earlier during the processional, the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom will light a single candle on either side of the altar. Then the bride and groom will take the candle lit by their respective mother and light a new larger candle at the center of the altar combining both flames from the smaller candles. This symbolizes the merging of the two families. The two smaller candles are the honor the family they came from and the center candle honors the new life being created.

Question

What is the pronouncement?

Answer

At this point, the officiant announces that the couple are now husband and wife. This is the part you see in the movies. :) After announcing that the marriage is complete, the officiant will say to the groom "you may now kiss the bride".

Question

What is the presentation of the couple?

Answer

After the couple has sealed their marriage with a kiss, the couple will turn facing back down the center aisle towards the guests. The officiant will say something along the lines of "It is my pleasure to announce for the first time Mr. and Mrs [new last name]".

Question

What is the recessional?

Answer

Now that the ceremony is completed, the wedding party will exit in the reverse order that they entered. The bride and groom will be the first to exit down the center aisle together. Then, the maid of honor and best man. Followed by each of the groomsmen and bridesmaids walking back down the aisle together. Then the honored guests (parents, grandparents, siblings, etc.). Then all of the remaining guests. In our case, you (the guests) get to stay where you are as the celebration will continue after the wedding party takes some pictures.

Question

How long is the Christian wedding ceremony?

Answer

Christian wedding ceremonies typically last about 30 minutes.

Question

What does the wedding party wear?

Answer

Traditionally the bride wears a white dress. The dress can be any of a variety of styles depending on the preference of the bride. The groom generally wears a suit. Black or Blue are the most common, but any color is acceptable. The bridesmaids wear dresses or outfits that match the overall wedding color theme. The groomsman wear a suit, often with a vest or a tie that matches the wedding color.

Question

I've never been to a Hindu wedding ceremony, what should I expect?

Answer

Hindu weddings include a series of events that occur over multiple days. There are pre-wedding events, wedding day ceremonies, and post wedding events. These events are: Pre-Wedding Nischitartham (Engagement) Mehendi Mangala Snanam Lord Ganapathi and Gowri Puja Wedding Day Vara Satkaarah Kanyadanam and Panigrahanam JeelaKarra Bellam or Sumuhrutham Madhuparakam Mangal Sutra Dharana Talambralu Naga Velli Dandalu Sthalipakam & Nalla Pusalu Saptapadi The Ring Game Arundhati Nakshatram Appaginthalu Post Wedding Gruhapravesham Satyanarayana Vratham Uniting the Mangalsutra

Question

What is the Nischitartham/Engagement?

Answer

This is the formal engagement ceremony where the two families meet to perform rituals to make the engagement official. A muhurtum (an auspicious date and time) is selected based on the horoscopes of the bride and groom. Then, the couple is blessed by elders of both families and gifts are exchanged amongst the families. After this, the Lagna Patrika (the wedding letter which is written to confirm the date and time of the wedding) is read aloud which has the couple’s name with their zodiac signs, gotram (clan,) and other religious details. It has the date of the wedding and address of the wedding venue along with the name of the parents and their ancestral name. This event is typically held in the weeks and months preceding the wedding day. Rohit and Allison's was held on 12/28/20.

Question

What is the mehendi?

Answer

During the mehndi ceremony, henna is used to apply intricate designs of temporary decorative art to the bride's hands and feet. The mehndi ceremony usually takes place one day before the marriage will be held, as the application can take hours. This event is traditionally only attended by the bride's close female friends and family members.

Question

What is Mangala Snanam?

Answer

The literal translation is "auspicious bath". On the day of the wedding, it takes place at the bride and groom's homes separately.. The couple’s family separately does this ritual before commencing any other ritual. Married women of the household take turns and apply oil on the bride and groom’s hair. They prepare a paste using turmeric, kumkum, and sandalwood and apply it on the couple’s hands, feet, and face. Then, the couple takes a bath in the holy water. With the completion of this ritual, they get ready for other wedding formalities. The aim is to purify them and make them prepared to perform sacred rites.

Question

What is the Lord Ganapathi and Gowri Puja?

Answer

Gowri puja is done by the bride at her house while the Lord Ganesh puja is done by the groom at the venue. The bride offers her prayers to the goddess Gauri as she is the symbol of fertility and motherhood and prays for a similar ideal relationship that the goddess has with her husband, Lord Shiva. Before the bride enters the Mandapam (the stage or platform where the wedding is performed), the groom performs the Ganesh Puja. All the auspicious occasions begin with a Ganesh Pooja in Hindu religion since Lord Ganesha is believed to remove any obstacles in the way. Hence Ganesh puja is the first ritual that happens at the venue or Mandapam. Salutations are offered so that Ganesha may pave the way for the couple's married life.

Question

What is the Vara Satkaarah?

Answer

Vara Satkaarah refers to the reception of the bridegroom and his family and friends at the entrance of the wedding hall. Welcoming them with holy chants by the priests and music played live on traditional instruments, the bride's mother blesses the groom with turmeric mixed rice, holy flowers, holy water and applies a tilak of vermilion and turmeric/sandalwood paste on his forehead.

Question

What is the Kanyadanam?

Answer

The bride will be led to the ceremony by either her brothers or uncles. The moment the father gives the bride away is known as the kanyadanam. During the ceremony, the father of the bride places his daughter's hands into the groom's hands as a gesture of giving her away. Up until the completion of the kanyadanam, the bride and groom are not allowed to look at each other, therefore a curtain is placed between them as a partition. Next, the bride's parents wash the groom's feet, as a gesture of respect because on the day of wedding the groom is considered as "Lord Vishnu Svarūpam" or the incarnation of lord Vishnu who has come to marry their daughter who is considered as "Devi Lakshmi" or the incarnation of the Goddess Lakshmi. The groom is made to chant "Dharmeca Artheca Kamecha Moksheca Nati Carami" three times and assure the bride's father three times that he will remain her companion in joy and sorrow forever.

Question

What is Panigrahanam?

Answer

Panigrahanam means "holding hands". The pellikoduku (groom) holds the right hand of the pellikuthuru (bride) and chants the following 3 times. “Dharmecha arthecha kamecha mokshechaaham evam naati charami.” “Righteously, financially, by desire, spiritually, I will not walk away from her!!” This means that amidst many desires, joys, and sorrows, the husband promises to be with his wife forever.

Question

What is JeelaKarra Bellam?

Answer

This is the main event of the Telugu wedding. ‘Jeelakara’ means Cumin and ‘Bellam’ means Jaggery in Telugu. The ritual starts by giving a paste of cumin and jaggery on the hands of the couple. Exactly at the Sumuhrutham (the auspicious time that is determined by matching the astrology of the bride and groom, this is the “wedding time” that is written in the wedding invitations and elsewhere), the couple place this paste on each other’s heads, moving their hands above the curtain. This is the point at which the couple is now officially man and wife and the curtain separating them is then removed. The paste of Cumin and Jaggery (Jellakara and Bellam) indicate that the couple will stick together through the bitter and sweet phases of life. It is also believed that the couple interchange each other’s thoughts and destinies interlinking their lives, by applying the paste on each other’s heads.

Question

What is the Madhuparakam?

Answer

After the Jeelakara-Bellam, the bride and groom leave to their respective rooms and change into ‘madhuparakam’. These Madhuparakam are basically white clothes with either a red, yellow or green border. The white color indicates purity or loyalty and the red/yellow/green indicates strength – the essential traits of any marriage. After changing into their new clothes, the bride and groom return to the Mandapam for the next set of rituals.

Question

What is the Mangal Sutra Dharana?

Answer

The Mangalsutram or thaali, the sacred yellow thread smeared with turmeric and attached with 2 separate gold pendants called ‘sutralu‘ is tied by the groom around the bride’s neck in 3 knots amidst the fast beat of ‘sannai mellam’ (shehnai). The three knots refer to the groom’s promise to accept the bride as his wife by 3 means – Manasa (thoughts), Vacha (speech), and karmana (actions). The ritual signifies the complete union of the couple: physically, mentally and spiritually. Mangalsutram or the necklace is the main identifying mark of a married woman in almost all the states of India. The yellow thread is replaced with a gold chain on the 16th-day from the wedding.

Question

What is the Talambralu?

Answer

This is the fun part of the wedding where not only the couple but the entire family enjoys. In this ritual, the bride and groom pour ‘Talambralu’ (rice mixed with turmeric) on each other’s head like a shower. The first 3 times, the couple shower ‘Talambralu’ on each other properly, after that it becomes a competition on who pours more. Now, other things like rose petals, pearls, colorful balls are also mixed in the rice. In the spirit of the game, the friends and relatives gather on respective sides of the couple and they pull them back while the other is trying to pour. This event brings out a lot of laughter and enjoyment all around and the event signifies the happiness and prosperity of the marriage.

Question

What is the Dandalu?

Answer

After Talambralu, the bride and groom exchange jai mala or flower garlands which signify the bride and groom accepting each other as partners. Married people witnessing this occasion come forward to bless the couple by sprinkling flower petals and rice coated with turmeric.

Question

What is the Sthalipakam & Nalla Pusalu?

Answer

In this ritual, the bride’s maternal uncle adorns the second toe of the bride with a silver toe ring. This is followed by the groom adorning the bride with a necklace of gold and black beads called ‘Nalla pusalu’ in Telugu. Nalla pusalu is meant to free the bride from the effects of the evil eye. The mangalsutram, silver toe ring and the nalla pusalu Identify married women in India just like the wedding ring in Western countries. So they are worn every day by married women in India.

Question

What is the Saptapadi?

Answer

‘Sapta’ means seven and ‘padi’ means steps together its saptapadi (seven steps). The bride and groom take seven steps around the sacred fire (homam). The groom leads the first three rounds and the bride leads the next 4. The seven steps represent seven vows of marriage. to nourish each other. to grow together in strength. to preserve our wealth. to share our joys and sorrows. to care for our children and parents. to have longevity and bountiful seasons to remain friends lifelong.

Question

What is the Ring Game?

Answer

The most fun filled ritual in a Telugu wedding is “finding the ring” ceremony. In this ritual, 2 rings are dropped (one gold and one silver) inside the water pot. The bride and groom put their right arm into it to see who picks the gold ring first. It is the best of 3 series, whoever finds the gold ring twice is the winner and said to have the upper hand in the marriage. This ritual is equally fun for the families as they cheer their respective side.

Question

What is the Arundhati Nakshatram?

Answer

In this ritual, the couple is taken out of the Mandapam by the priest to spot the Arundhati and Vasistha nakshatram (star) in the sky. The groom points out the stars to his bride. Arundhati and Vasistha represent an ideal couple hence they are shown the couple as an example.

Question

What is the Appagintalu?

Answer

The final ceremony in a Telugu wedding is called Appaginthalu where the brides family officially handover the bride to the grooms family. After this ritual, the bride leaves the Mandapam with the groom to his home. This is usually the most emotional moment for the bride and her family. A big plate is filled with milk. The bride, groom, and their respective family sit in front of each other. The bride’s parents dip the bride’s hands in milk and hand her over to her parents-in-law, her husband’s siblings, and to her husband.

Question

What is the Gruhapravesam?

Answer

Once the wedding is done, the bride will accompany the groom to his house. There are a few rituals that are followed there the first is Gruhapravesam. After the wedding ceremony, the bride is welcomed by the groom and his family. A jar filled with rice and jaggery is kept at the entrance of the house and the bride kicks it with her right toe. After this, the groom’s family performs a small aarti and the bride enters her new house.

Question

What is the Satyanarayana Vratam?

Answer

Lord Satyanarayana is considered to be one of the supreme lords. This vratam is said to bring happiness and is one of the purest rituals. It is performed on either the full moon day or during any auspicious occasions like a Telugu wedding ceremony. Performing this ritual brings good luck and prosperity to the couple.

Question

What is Uniting the Mangalsutra?

Answer

Gruhapravesam is followed by a ceremony, wherein the Mangaḷasutram is united. As a customary, the Telugu speaking people unite the two Mangaḷasutrams (which was tied by the groom around the bride’s neck), on a common thread. This ritual is done sixteen days after the wedding. This ritual can be performed by either the groom or an elderly member of the family. A few black or golden beads are slipped between the two 'plates' of the Mangaḷasutram, so that they do not clash with each other. The unison of Mangaḷasutram signifies the harmony between the two families. After the ceremony is over, the bride takes a bath and wears a new saree.