FAQs

Question

What's a Quaker Wedding Like?

Answer

Couples who marry under the care of Gunpowder Friends Meeting first gather with a clearness committee, and then are supported by an oversight committee as the wedding is planned and on the wedding day. Marriage under the care of the Meeting is something that the couple does for themselves and with one another, under their own authority but with the support, care and witness of the Meeting. To a great extent there is very little “ceremony” involved in Quaker worship. Weddings are no exception – there is no officiant presiding over the wedding. Rather, the wedding is much like a Meeting for Worship and includes members of the meeting as well as the invited guests of the couple. After the couple takes their seat on the wedding bench and a welcoming message is read by the Clerk, there is silent meditation. The first to stand and speak are the wedding couple; they either recite traditional Quaker wedding vows, or read the vows they have written themselves. The couple then signs a Marriage Certificate, perhaps similar to the one pictured here, and a designated person reads the inscription on the certificate, usually text chosen by the wedding couple for its personal meaning to them. Any other selected readings or music may then be shared. The gathering then returns to silence and out of that silence, Friends and those gathered to honor the union rise as they are moved to share what is in their hearts. After someone speaks, a space of silence is allowed before another speaks so that the message shared may be appreciated and contemplated by all who are present. We end the wedding by shaking hands with those around us. Everyone in attendance is then asked to sign the wedding certificate as witnesses to the union. The certificate serves as a beautiful, enduring remembrance of the day for the newly wedded couple.