We're getting married!

You know when the grungy bearded guy invites you to the woods as a first date? You’re totally thinking that you’re gonna end up on the back of a milk carton. He’s a real-life, modern-day Ted Bundy. Handsome, charming, the whole nine yards and then some, but who in the world goes deep into the boonies to get to know someone? Dumb girls, that is who. Well luckily for Kim, the only thing Rob was vying for was a chance to get to know her. He was genuinely interested in inviting Kim into the inner folds of his mind and his heart. Unfortunately for this gentleman, Kim stood him up on this bonfire date because she was concerned about her safety or something. However, Kim thought Rob’s face was cute enough to meet him in a well-lit, public place for brunch the next day. At the crack of dawn, the both of them awoke to conduct their morning ablutions. Kim put on her face and Rob installed a fresh pair of legs (long story on both). The two finally met face to face over a plate of delicate French toast at Café Who Cares, because once their eyes befell one another, they were both drunk, and it wasn’t the mimosas. Would you have guessed that it was Dreamwork’s Shrek that served as the bridge between these two hearts? Love really is a funny thing. How romantic is this conversation? “Do you like Shrek? There is a Shrek rave coming up, and I might go, if you want to join.” “Shrek?! I’M A BELIEVER!” I suppose that’s as romantic as it comes these days, can any of you say you’ve had a suaver interaction the first time you spoke to your husband or wife? (Suaver isn’t a word, but you get it) The pair squawked for four hours, their French toast collecting flies and the waiter impatiently hoping they’d finally pay their bill and leave. Once the date concluded, they could not stop thinking about one another. Those four hours felt like an awesome eternity, and they were both ready for more of that bliss. As they drove away from the café, the unstoppable gravity of love was tugging at them. A mere thirty minutes later, Kim asked Rob to come meet her for dinner. By the end of the night, after spending nearly the whole day together, fate had pretty much made up its mind. This country knight in muddy armor, and this foul-mouthed princess had sewn their futures together, for better or worse. And you know what? It is perhaps the most amazing collision of two souls any one of us may witness on the 13th of March in the year of our Lord 2025. - The story of how Rob and Kim met as told by The Dude of Honor, Alexander Berg