FAQs and Tips on an Orthodox Wedding
Question
What is the dress code?
Answer
This is a formal event. We respectfully request all guests dress according to orthodox Jewish values of modesty. These are some specifics regarding these rules. Men: Suit Jacket/pants, button down shirt, tie. No shorts at the wedding. Women: Outfits need to cover knees, elbows, and collar bones. If you google Tznius formal dress, you can get a great idea of what this means! If you imagine a formal version of maxi dresses, that is the general concept. Please reach out if you have any questions or concerns, we don't judge :)
Question
Why will there be separate seating?
Answer
In orthodox Judaism, we often find separation of the genders present in any gathering which includes individuals that are not related to one another. There are a multitude of reasons that this is the case, but they all mostly relate back to the fact that it helps to decrease the number of distractions and increase the focus of the event towards the spirituality of the moment, as well as adhere to Jewish modesty values. Especially during events which include people from all walks of life, we want everyone to be able to attend and be comfortable doing so. As such, for each portion of the evening we will have separate seating for men and women, as well as a mixed seating section whenever possible. The seating options will be indicated in the following sections, and some may change over time.
Question
What is the proper etiquette for interacting with those you may not know at the event?
Answer
Overall, most of the wedding will have separation between men and women, with some options for mixed seating. Between groups or individual men, as well as groups or individual women, there is not necessarily a standard. You can hug, cry, laugh, and have fun with one another! However, we do ask that all guests be mindful that in orthodox Judaism, men cannot physically interact with women that they are not married to or directly related to. We know it is hard to break the habit of extending your hand for a handshake or going in for a hug if you are used to doing so, but please be aware that this is a religious restriction many of the guests at this event adhere to. Talking to one another and wishing each other congratulations (or Mazel Tov in Hebrew) is perfectly fine, just avoid physical contact. (This also includes the bride and the groom!)
Question
What is Kabbalas Panim?
Answer
This is a "meet and greet" hour of introductions for the wedding couple and their families! The setup will have separate areas for men and women, but anyone is allowed to approach the bride and groom to wish them well before going to their respective sides. The only physical contact allowed between men and women is if you are married or directly related to one another. Children under 12 are able to be on either side (this is true throughout the entire wedding). Food will be served on both sides, and it is a general social hour!
Question
What is the Chuppah?
Answer
This is the wedding ceremony. A Rabbi will be leading the event and many of the blessings and words spoken will be in Hebrew. Circles will be walked, glasses will be broken, and it will be a meaningful and spiritual event. We look forward to having everyone there to celebrate! For this portion, there will be separate seating for both men and women. Children under 12 can be on either side. If you wish to sit together with your entire family, we are trying to arrange for a separate section set aside for mixed seating. If this occurs, please sit there and not in the areas intended for separate seating.
Question
What is the Simchas Chosson v'Kallah?
Answer
The meal and dance party! At first, the bride and groom will not be here, but they will be joining the festivities soon. This portion of the evening will consist of a festive meal! Following the meal, there will be dancing, music, and lots of fun! All dancing will be completely separated between men and women. There will be absolutely no mixed dancing. We are attempting to arrange for certain tables for the meal to have a mixed seating option. If this occurs, please sit in the proper section accordingly.