Maid of Honor
We've known each other since junior high. No matter how far we've traveled, or what challenges we've faced, we've always been there for each other. I couldn't imagine walking down the aisle without her.
Best Man
I met Justin on my first day at Model Laboratory (it's a school for weirdos), where I (accurately) pegged him as King of the Nerds. I knew that if I wanted to remake myself, it was best to stay clear of his clique. Well... Here we are... 23 years later...
Maid of Honor
Janice is the Dragon to my Nighthawk, and sometimes, you meet somebody, and even though you think they're a horrible person, you're suddenly best friends. And couldn't picture life without them in it.
Best Man
With an auspicious beginning as a foe, Charlie and I spent the better part of a decade living together, trying to claim the title of World's Grossest Apartment. We would've gotten it too, if it weren't for that Melissa!
Bridesmaid
My roommate from Colorado mountain living, she's proven to be calm, collected, reasonable, and hilarious.
Groomsman
I felt that I needed to round out my wedding party with a true American hero. Who better than someone who finished, and someday will hopefully win, an Iron Man competition?
Father of the Bride
We've biked 150+ miles together, but the trip I'm most looking forward to will be the short walk we take together on September 14, 2019.
Mother of the Groom
She waited 37 years for her only son to be married off, so please take the time to commend my Mother on her stoical patience.
Mother of the Bride
She's my go-to for everything. From recipes, to cleaning, to who was that one actor that we saw in that one movie? My former drug pusher*, but my mother forever. *She was a pharmacist, duh.
Father of the Groom
Your first inclination upon seeing this man at the wedding might be to call the police, but please do not do that. We can assure you that, as the father of the groom, he has been invited.
Busia of the Bride
She may be an octogenarian but don't let that fool you, she's still more trouble than you'd think. Voted Most Likely to be the Last One Left on the Dance Floor.
Grampy of the Groom
Tough sumb****. If you want him to smile you gotta earn it.
Officiant
William Gaffney's long-time partner in crime (maybe literally). Unofficial Godfather of the Groom. Soft-spoken, yet sarcastic. The perfect fit to officiate this wedding.