A self-uniting marriage license is a legal document that allows a couple to be married in the absence of a third-party officiant. Self-uniting marriages are sometimes referred to as “Quaker” marriages because the custom as we largely know it today originated among the Religious Society of Friends. In short - we will be marrying ourselves!
During our ceremony, the guests will be welcomed by the "clerk", or emcee. Following this will be a period of silent worship for about 15 to 20 minutes, in which attendees will have the opportunity to speak if they feel moved to do so. Then, we will exchange vows and declare ourselves married. The ceremony may also include elements of other spiritual traditions as well - we're still working out the details!
This is a period of time for silent reflection, in which participants may feel moved to speak. The idea is to come together, honor each other and the group by sitting together, and allow messages to emerge organically in the shared space.
Yes! Anyone is welcome to share a message during the silent worship portion of the ceremony.
No! There is no requirement or expectation to speak, and many choose to remain silent.
The Quaker tradition of sitting quietly in community, without direction from a "leader", honors the wholeness of the people worshipping and all of the experiences that have brought us to this point. We are grateful that our family and close friends are coming together to share this important milestone with us, and hope that our ceremony will provide the opportunity to be present with one another and the moment. We recognize that this may be an unfamiliar practice for some, and we appreciate you all for giving this a try with us :)