Our journey began 22 years ago, just 30 miles from the little piece of land we call home, where we will be exchanging our vows in just a few short weeks. It’s the first day of school, Nic and Amanda walk into the same Second Grade classroom, sitting desks apart. While most of our memories have already hidden themselves in time, a picture remains of a shaka waving boy and proud smiling girl standing side by side. If you look closely you can see, we absolutely know. 2002 sparked a friendship that would persist through space as Nic moved back to Texas, Amanda to her various homes over Southern California, and time ticked away. Connected through the early days of social media, Nic and Amanda watched each other grow up from a far. Occasionally Nic would write her a note, Amanda would give him a call, they’d confide about their first high school loves, boast of adventures dreamed and present, grounding in a trusted pen pal. March 2009 Nic:”So instead of facebokin. Wats yo numba so I can just text u” Amanda: “Ooooh emmmm geee!! Was is amazing??”

As young adults they bloomed along the West Coast, Nic returning to attend school in Tacoma Washington, Amanda traveling up and down California hiking, cycling, and slinging coffee. Always just a season apart, we watched still, our lives twisted and turned. Nic finished his studies, explored diverse cultures around the world, and had just started feeding his hunger for the wilderness. Amanda hiked and biked hundreds of miles along the Pacific Crest Trail and Western Tier, explored a variety of careers from coffee to cannabis, and discovered the beauty of living in a bright Pink Van scribed along the side, ”Lady Justice.” One summer while hitchhiking along Hwy 1, Nic got a note from Amanda: July 2017 Amanda: “Hello old friend! I know it’s been a while but I heard you’re trekkin’ through my neck of the woods. I would love to connect and hear about your travels/catch up on life–one nomad to another :) I’m currently near Redding, CA working on a farm in the hills, but let me know how I can support you! Maybe I can catch you when you come through, or maybe we can grab coffee in the city. Happy Trails!” Nic: “Hey I was hoping I’d hear from you! Would love to catch up and I’m totally heading right through redding I think. (Was hoping to get a good view of Shasta and planned to cross from the coast to the 5 near Redding). Funny how paths cross :) Hope van life is beautiful and can't wait to trade stories. Nic packed up his camp, rolled up his sleeping bag, walked to the park in the center of Arcata, CA, Amanda sipped coffee while driving Lady J, parked, and stepped out. We gazed upon each other for the first time in 14 years–yes, definitely love. We floated over to the pub across the street, talked for hours, then drove to another brewery, talked for hours, drove to her friend's farm, threw Amanda’s van mattress on the roof, and we dreamt for hours. Amanda thought she’d give Nic a couple hours ride that day, but he ended up staying the week. And Nic thought he’d be hitchhiking again after that week, but Amanda decided to take another week off work and drove him most of the way. Though Amanda did eventually drive back, and Nic got on a flight. Routine resumed, Amanda returned to work and Nic moved to Guatemala with the Peace Corps. Our lives branched outward again and we were about to embark on our greatest challenges yet to pass, with only just a glimpse of what life could be like together. Nic confessed to Amanda in a letter: September 2017 Nic: “On principle, love will never again be defined in my life, it will only be touched, shared, and fueled. A couple times I glanced over at you and saw that future understanding of love, but it wasn't until you were getting ready to leave (the second time) that I understood how you transformed my perspective. I will be forever grateful for this, regardless if our paths ever cross again, I now know I loved and have loved many times—but never knew it.”

More twists, more turns, all the while striving to grow back together and driving to dig our roots into truth–we never lost sight of each other. The wilderness gripped Nic as he started hiking long trails and moved to Utah to spend half his days working in the expanse of the desert, life on the fringes of society more welcoming. False prophets blinded Amanda as she sought enlightenment and devotion, diving deep into her yogic practice and building camper vans. We resisted each other and debated the delusions of our animal bodies, the power of choice, autonomy, ignorance, and ultimately what we both sought, to know what is real and what was fable. January 2020: Amanda: “There’s two ‘opposing forces’ working here, one being my heart and mind screaming, “JUST DO IT. GO BE WITH HIM AND FIND THE TRUTH” and an equally significant part of myself that's wondering if this is some kind of divine test that I’m failing because the timing of this is so ridiculously perfect and what you said is literally all I’ve wanted and been asking for, and somehow now that I’m almost finished letting it all go it's presenting itself in the physical world through you, my most cherished dear. I’ve been projecting onto you– I’ve created this whole relationship and story about us thinking I was aware of it not being real, and here you are saying you were there too, and want the same. I have no idea what to do and maybe there isn’t anything to do other than to just be with all this.” 10 months after this message was sent, Nic picked Amanda up at the Santa Barbara Airport, we held hands winding up Refugio Canyon. And we knew, we weren't making the mistake of letting go twice. Since 2021, Nic and Amanda have been building their lives together. Through wild fire and flood, the birth of farm animals, businesses, and countless crafts, we are starting yet another journey together, through all the never’s and a few forever’s. Life together.