Best Man
When in doubt, I ask myself what would Betty Crocker do? And then I throw more butter at it.
Groomsman
"It's Tobi Time!!" "It's fine. *tongue click * finger guns"
Groomsman
"My sergeant said I can break the Geneva Convention, but only once." "They left me no choice, I had to come at 'em like a spider monkey."
Groomsman
*Car is currently leaking oil "I'm leaking more oil than Poland." "Hypothetically, what happens if you drive a car with no oil?"
Groomsman
Groomsman
"I'm not particularly loquacious." "*looks in confusion"
Groomsman
"Look, all I'm saying is the power should belong to the states. The federal government was the biggest mistake this country ever made" - Willis Yahahaharbrough
Bridesmaid
1,600+ day Snapchat streak, mother of doodle, and the featured artist in our hallway of art. Our friendship was forged in the fires of WRB. You don’t escape that kind of trauma bonding. Also the person I trusted to cut 3 feet of hair off me.
Bridesmaid
Sunshine in a bottle, beautiful vocals, and has always had my back, mother of Dean. I knew as soon as she wasn’t scared off by “slimy legs” she would be a lifelong friend. You’ll never meet someone so sweet and loyal
Bridesman
The bestie, the homegirl, the “why are we the exact same person” friend from forever ago. If you need recommendations on apples he’s got you covered!
Bridesmaid
Newest addition sister, mother of TomTom, has the stellar fashion sense we all wish we had. She makes the very best concert buddy and has great energy always. Best “New York” accent
Man of Honor
Cousin of the bride, the OG bestie, maker of robots. He’s the reigning champion of parkour pancakes. 10/10 as long as you don’t put him in control of the playlist on your trip to the beach
Maid of Honor
“Big” sister of the bride, mother of Boi, keeper of inside jokes. She makes the best 12am emotional support pancakes
Bridesman
Bosephine Delaware. Shaker of green beans, professional dice goblin, old enough for necromancy. The only person to witness the bride slow dancing with a mop in the walk in. Your sleep deprived delirium rants are safe with him.